Finally, she speaks. “I’ve given him too much leeway. And you’ve been sleeping here every night Charlotte is away.”
“And the nights I’m not here, I worry about you. Now, after yesterday? It’s even worse. This will help ease my mind.”
She kisses my neck, pulling away to look up at me. “What would you moving in here look like?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, it’s an hour commute for you one way. Is that something you’d see yourself making every day?”
“Absolutely. I have my bike. You know I love to ride. It’s nothing.”
“Would you want to? Live with Charlotte and I?”
“Definitely. I’d love to live with you lovely ladies. You’re my two princesses.” I walk back over to her and brush the hair from her face. “Does this mean I’ll finally meet your mom, and Beau?”
She flashes a smile at me, nodding. “If I meet your parents.”
My smile disappears. I’m not speaking to them, and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to look past the lies they’ve told. “Eventually.”
“Eventually, when?” She asks, catching that I’m upset.
“We got into a bit of an argument. I meant to tell you about it, but then Matt was here, and it didn’t seem important. I confronted my father about Karson Harden. Turns out both he and my mother knew. They also knew you were pregnant and believed Mila was mine. They knew you lost the baby, and they decided to keep the truth from me.”
She shakes her head. “I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry you argued.”
“Well, I’m not. They’ve sheltered me my whole adolescent life, and to hear him say he did it into my adulthood, was the final straw.”
Andi chews on the inside of her cheek, and I can tell she disagrees. I can always tell what’s on her mind. She makes it so easy. “What?”
“I’m upset they did that to you. I mean, we could have been together so much sooner. You could have properly grieved for Mila. But a part of me understands, babe. I have a daughter. I don’t agree with their choices and I don’t think I’d ever do it to Charlotte, but I have to believe that they did what they felt was best for you. That’s all any parent does.”
I huff. “They knew I was going to be a father, and they hid it from me. I mean, I was exhausted with the S.W.A.T. academy, but I should have heard about your accident. A wreck on the freeway caused by a police pursuit of a drunk driver? That never happens. I would have heard about it, but my dad, he managed to keep it from me.”
She extends her arms across the island. “Come here.”
Sulking, I go over to her and drop to my knees between her legs as she sits on the high back stool. My head falls into her lap and she strokes my hair, twirling it in her fingers.
“We haven’t talked about you.” Her voice is so soft and sweet. She coaxes me with a little hum and continues to hold my head in her lap.
“How are you dealing with this? I feel like this is so weird. Mac, he grieved with me, and he was only an uncle. He also had months of knowing about her, of seeing her in my stomach. There isn’t any set way, and this isn’t a typical circumstance. So, how do you feel? What can I do for you?”
“I feel like I got my heart back when we found each other, and I was whole again. And then you told me I was a father and that our baby girl didn’t make it, and my heart broke all over again. I feel like I’m missing my heart. I feel so sad for her that she isn’t here. I feel so angry that I was such a stupid little prick and hurt you, lied to you. I’m angry that my father was so worried about who you were, that he hid a child from me.”
“It’s always going to hurt. I wake up every morning and it hurts. It hurts to remember I lost her, to wonder what she would be like today. But you know what helps? Looking at my sweet little girl. Looking at Charlotte and seeing how beautiful and smart she is. And you with her? God, Dom, the two of you are so amazing together. I wish I could give you more of that.”
I wince, knowing what she means. It’s been six months since we’ve stopped using condoms, and she still hasn’t gotten pregnant. We haven’t been actively trying, but we’re obviously not preventing it. I also don’t think I want her to get pregnant, not if she’s had such a hard time with it in the past.
I reach over and place my hand over hers, squeezing it tightly. “You’re all I need, sunshine. I mean it.”
She blushes, then looks up at me. “You’ve always called me that. Why?”
“Because without you, I might not have made it through my undercover days.” I stroke the back of my hand along her cheek. “I was in those dark days a lot of times when I came to you at the bar, and you were the brightness that helped me power through. You still are.”
A tear falls from her face. “That’s how I’ve always felt about you.”