Winter
Brecken’sminiature notebook is the first thing I see when I return to my room after dinner. Ever since he gave it to me, I’ve been wondering how to begin filling in the thirty or so pages. Maybe I should add a spice rating alongside each entry, the least scandalous things I’m game to try rated one chili pepper as I make my way to five.
Leaving it untouched on my desk, I grab my cell, flop to the mattress, and call Emily. If I’m lucky, she should be on her dinner break.
Sworn to secrecy before I left Vail, she answers on the second ring. “I thought you’d be too busy to call me,” she says wryly.
I laugh, kinda wishing I was.
After my tour of the hotel, I came back to my room and did some more unpacking, getting organized for my first day at Chateau Balthazar. A few hours later, I joined Reuben, Brecken, and Luca for dinner in their suite, sitting at their long, walnut table, the evening passing in a blur of conversation.
Luca spent the last hour unsuccessfully ignoring his phone. Several times he replied to emails.
“Reuben and Luca have got an early flight to Montreal.”
“That leaves one, though, right?” Emily points out.
“Mmm,” I say, unsure what else to say while trying to ignore a growing hollowness in my chest. Despite asking me to complete my little book of fantasies, Brecken is typically on the fringes of what his brothers get up to. And I’m not just referring to a meeting he doesn’t need to be at. In general, he talks less. He just runs at his own pace.
“I’m not sure what I expected, but it was more than this,” I tell Emily. “I don’t know, maybe I’m being unrealistic.” Brecken assured me that Aspen would be when he and I connected. Where I’d get everything I want and more.
“Look, you just need to allow time for you all to find a routine. You know, a groove. You’re still working out how this works and fits together. You need to chill.”
“I know.”
“You’re stupidly impatient, remember,” she says with a soft laugh. “With zero willpower. Jesus, you’ve not even been there a day.”
“Okay, I get it,” I scold gently. “I’m running before I can walk.”
“Right,” she says kindly, knowing why I need to surround myself with love, with affection, with bodily warmth.
Toying with my hair, I consider running a bath, but I can’t be bothered to walk to the bathroom and turn the faucet on. “I want to do well here, Em. I want to impress them.”
“Luca already told you that you’re succeeding in that area.”
“Yes, but I want to impress everyone else. You know what they’ll say otherwise. That I got this job because of my magic puss, blah blah blah.” And I’ve yet to meet Balthazar Wolfford. The sole owner of this magnificent hotel business. What will he see when he looks at me?
A snort sounds on the other end of the line. “Magic puss. Ahahahaha,” she laughs before quieting. “Are you worried about the rumors?”
The hotel world is small. And Luca said he’d hired a former colleague of mine—Arthur Smith—who undoubtedly knows why I got fired. But then I remember that Arthur vouched for me. That he said I had a good chance of getting that promotion.
Maybe I’m good at my job and I need to put some faith in myself. Maybe my nerves are getting a hold of me and I need to trust in my experience and knowledge.
“Yeah.”
“Well, if theydoknow about you and Luca, then they’ll keep their mouths shut. And if they don’t, and they give you shit about it, you can get them fired.”
I laugh, knowing I’d handle any flak myself. “Thanks for being Mom,” I tell her.
“Oh, Winter,” Emily says on an exhale, the sadness expanding between us. “I’m sorry that you lost your family so cruelly. And I’m sorry that Justin, Betsy, and I are a shit alternative to your parents and Clara, but call me whenever. We need to get a weekend organized ‘cos I want to brag that I’ve stayed in Chateau B, even if it’s sharing your bed.”
“Deal,” I tell her, cracking a smile at her enthusiasm.
“I’ve got to get back, but good luck tomorrow. Call me and let me know how it goes when you can.”
“Will do.”
“Night.”