- Busy … LYA
- Okay … TT
Two minutes later, the phone rings. It’s Jade.
“Hello?”
“Are you that fucking pig-headed, or are you just stupid?”
“If she wants to talk to me, have her call me.”
“You’re pretty damn stupid, Lucas.”
“Thanks, Jade. Nice chat. Goodbye.” I hang up the phone and throw it on the charger. I need to run, to scream, to fucking breathe.
I look at the clock and realize I have about three hours to kill before Logan and I pack up and head out to Jersey. I have some things to do to make sure my schedule this summer can be handled from home as much as possible. But I do have time for a run and a shower, and then the trucking company will be picking up the trailer and taking it down to park it in front of the Jersey house.
?
I’ve been running slower lately. I really hate depression. I know its symptoms well. I haven’t talked to anyone about this. I’m anxious and having fucking chest pains caused by anxiety. Over twenty years ago, I felt it, but worse. The first night Ashley came to me, I was sitting with a pile of coke big enough to numb everything permanently and a bottle of Jack in my bedroom at Dad’s. He and Audri had my sisters on vacation so they wouldn’t have to deal with it. I was done with football, Tessa was pregnant and happy, and I had been putting on the best front I could. It all hit the first night of deer camp when I invited her and her hubby up. Watching them together was enough for me to head to Jersey, pretty damn sure I was done. I was over it all.
Now, it’s different. I have kids. I have accepted responsibility for my actions back then and, with Ashley’s help, I moved on. Ash … I am sure, when this anger goes away, I will see what it is I did to deserve her shitting on me, but right now, she’s a bitch. Nothing more, nothing less.
I push myself to go five miles out. I need the mood boost those endorphins will release.
Logan and I mapped it all out. Different land marks represent mile marks. I am at three, pushing hard to four, when I just can’t push anymore. I turn and jog toward the house, dragging ass.
I know I pushed too hard, but again, I am seeking that high. One no drug, pill, or drink can give you. All natural, baby.
I nearly trip over my own feet and look down at the untied laces of my shoe. I stop to tie them when I hear a vehicle approach and pass. I look up, and it’s Tessa’s. She stops and leans out the window.
“You okay?”
I nod.
“Want a ride?”
I shake my head, trying to catch my breath as I walk toward the SUV.
“How long are you going to stay pissed at me, Lucas? I may not be ready for everything you want”—she jumps out and slams the door—“but I still need my friend. So, would you stop, please?”
The plea in her voice cuts me deep, and I reach for her but stop myself.
Fuck! She looks good. Her skin is tan and making her eyes so damn blue, brought out by the blue tee-shirt she’s wearing that clings to the death of me—her tits.
“Nice do-rag.” She has her hair covered in a navy handkerchief with fucking pigtails hanging out the back.
She smiles. “You like it?”
“Yeah.”
“So, do you want a ride?”
“Nah. You heading to Jade’s?”
She looks at me without saying a damn thing for a few minutes, and then down. “Yes, she picked up some little floating tea lights for the Cape.”
“That was nice of her.”