“I know. Dammit, Lucas. But right now, I am so fucking pissed at the world. Everything that’s ever hurt her is resurfacing.”
“By that, you mean me.”
“Fuck yes, I mean you! How the fuck does she deserve to be beat down emotionally by you all those years ago, and then when she finally finds someone to love her the way she deserves, he fucking dies! How the fuck is that right, Lucas?”
“It’s not right.”
“And she still fucking loves your ass like she does everyone around her! She doesn’t deserve this. Collin didn’t deserve this. Harper, oh my God, what she has been through … I have no clue how the fuck she’ll ever be normal again. And I stand here, drinking a fucking beer, trying to douse the inferno burning inside me, when all I wanna do is kick your ass in hopes that it makes the fire die down just for a little while.”
“Then do it.” I stand back and ready myself. “Give it your best shot. I deserve it. Fucking hit me!”
Alex stands, feet rooted in the snow, fists balled at his sides, veins popping in his neck. “Dumb thing to say to a pissed off man, Links!”
“Dumb thing not to do when offered, Ross.”
After several seconds, he turns around. Then he turns back and storms at me.
I ready myself for twenty plus years of big brother restraint to be released all over my face.
He reaches out and grabs me by the collar. “I’m not a dumb man!”
“No, you aren’t. You’re a damn good man, Alex.”
He begins to shake, and then he lets go and turns away. I let him stand there for a moment in silence.
“I’ll give you a minute.” I start to walk past him, and he puts his hand out to stop me.
“You’re a good man, too, Lucas. You were just a kid then. Didn’t know any better, and we just let her try to figure it out by herself.”
“You were a kid, too, Alex.”
“I just don’t know what the fuck to do.”
I stand beside him and wait for him to say what he wants to, and when he doesn’t, I can’t shut my fucking mouth.
“Give her time to show everyone how fucking tough she is, and then fight for her so she knows she is worth fighting for.”
He looks over at me then to the ground and kicks snow.
I look back at Jade, Ryan, and Phoebe, all standing by the fire. Then I hear the surround sound in the backyard start blasting “Eye of the Tiger.”
Alex looks over at me, and we both end up laughing at the irony.
“You ready to head back? They’re all watching us, expecting a throwdown.”
“The kids?”
“All of them are inside, apparently trying to get thisparty started.”
We walk back together as Ava runs out the door, smiling.
“Hey, Dad, you’ve got some rockin’ mixed tapes.”
Jade and Phoebe laugh. So do I.
She runs up to me and kisses my cheek. “I spent an hour coming up with a playlist. Wait till you hear it.”
“I can hardly wait.”