I hold the envelope over the steam, and Jade laughs.
“Tessa, a promise, please.”
“Or what?”
“Or I’ll take that letter and shred it,” she warns rather unconvincingly.
“You’ll have to get it first.”
“Promise.”
“I promise, but be prepared. My feelings change within a second without notice lately.”
“Lately?” She laughs.
“You’re one to talk.”
“We Ross girls—”
“We Ross girls what?” Phoebe walks through the door.
I try to hide the letter behind me.
“She texted me. I know what you’re doing, so give it up, sister.” Phoebe kisses my cheek and sets her purse on the counter.
“Jade!”
“What? You were acting crazy. I thought this situation may require backup. Besides, you talked to her more about Lucas things back in school than you did me.”
“Lucas things. Meaning you and Lucas?”
“It was a mistake,” I whisper.
“Hold up. You screwed him?” Phoebe gasps.
“I thought you told her!” I snap at Jade.
“Not everything,” Jade whispers.
“Holy shit. How was it? Was it like high school?” Phoebe pulls herself up on the counter and stares at me.
“I would prefer not to talk about it.”
“Okay.” Phoebe smiles gently at me. That sweet smile is so sincere, always has been.
“It was good, Phoebe, and I feel like a whore, like I betrayed Collin.”
She holds her hand out, and I hold it. “Collin is gone. From the letter Alex and I got, he wants you to love again.”
“But if it was Lucas, and it was too soon, I don’t think he would be pleased. He would feel betrayed. He gave his life for Harper, to bring her back to me, and I fuck Lucas?”
“Tessa, we all grieve at our own pace. Besides, Alex and I read a book that talked about grieving. There were a few stories that talked about people who were happily married, having a harder time being unattached, that your support team should encourage you to move forward.”
“But with Lucas Links? Come on now.”
“Tessa, you have a letter written to Lucas from Collin. I bet there might be something in there that will give you an idea of how Collin would feel.” Jade nods to said letter.
“You’re afraid, and I understand that. But it’s because of Lucas. And not who he is now. You’re disappointed in yourself because it’s hard for you to see who he is now. Tessa, he’s a different man. He’s a good man.”