I don't want to upset him, but I can't hash all of this out here in the hospital, and I really need to think about what I am going to do.
"Can we at least talk then?"
"Sure, let's talk when you get home."
"Okay, you want me to come to you when I get out of here?" He asks, looking a little anxious as he brushes his disheveled hair off his forehead.
"Um. No. I will come to you." He gives me a puzzled look and looks at his hands folded over his lap.
I stand to kiss his forehead before turning to leave the room, stopping just shy of the door, "I'm really glad you're okay."
CHAPTER 45
JUDSON
I haven’t slept so terrible in my life. I’m not sure if it’s the weird way that Blakely left last night or the fact that this mattress kept blowing up, sounding like a generator. The curtains are open just enough for the sun to hit me square in the eye, and the nurse comes in every 20 minutes to poke and prod. I’m ready to go home.
She steps through the door again with an apologetic look as she wraps the blood pressure cuff around my arm.
“When can I be discharged?”
“Soon, the doctor is getting your discharge papers ready now.” She smiles, walking back out of the room, tossing her gloves into the trash can.
Jay walks in the door with coffee and sits it down on the rolling bedside table.
“Thanks, man.”
“You’re welcome. You ready to bust outta this joint?”
“I am so ready. I need to text Blake and tell her I’m about to head home.”
“Yeah, what was that about? She seemed off yesterday.”
“I really don’t know. I told her I wanted to be with her, basically professed my undying love. She just said we could talk today once I got home.”
Jameson looks around the hospital room and then to me, “Maybe she needs more of a commitment from you than just words.”
What?
“What I mean is that the last time you wanted to be with her, you ended up pushing her away and weren’t with her. Maybe she thinks that will happen again.”
I slam my cup down on the table, coffee splashing out everywhere, “It’s not like that. I wanted to keep her safe from Ryan. It wasn’t like I wanted to be away from her, and in case you forgot, she left me for six months.”
“Well, you weren’t exactly doing much to keep her here. All I’m saying is that it’s a two-way street.”
I don’t respond. Instead, I grab my sweatpants and t-shirt Jay brought and go change out of this hospital gown.
After being discharged and Jay dropping me off at home, I decide to text Blakely and let her know I’m home.
Judson- I’m home. Jameson just dropped me off.
Blakely- K, I’ll be over in a couple hours.
Several hours pass before Blake pulls into the driveway. I look down at the clock and wonder what took her so long. The thought that she may be seeing someone else crosses my mind, making me think irrational things. The sound of knocking jerks me from my inside my thoughts, and I pull the door open slowly as she walks inside.
She is breathtakingly beautiful but looks so tired. I can see it in her eyes that she is exhausted. She tugs at the end of her baggy sweatshirt as she walks into the main room, plopping down in the chair. I can see she is nervous, and the fact she sat in the chair gives me the vibe she is trying to create space between us. The couch feels lonely, and I remain silent, hoping, and praying that she makes conversation first.
“How was your internship?” I break the silence as she twists the end of her ponytail around her finger.