November 26
It's been two weeks since I started staying in Savannah with Judson. It still feels like a dream. An unbelievable daydream that I never wake up from. Falling into this perfectly comfortable routine with Judson is pretty incredible. It doesn't even seem real at times, and I just keep waiting to wake up.
My mom doesn't understand the move and has been trying to convince me to go back to Tennessee. I haven't heard anything from Dakota, but I have talked to Cami, and she says he is healing and is somewhat moving on. I haven't heard anything back from Savannah College of Art and Design about acceptance yet. It's kind of making me crazy, not knowing. I have been taking pictures for realtors on the side, and it's actually a pretty fantastic job. Of course, Judson helped figure out who to contact, but I have made a name for myself in the past weeks. Several of the houses I photographed sold quickly.
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. Judson insisted we make a big dinner over here. I have never cooked Thanksgiving dinner before, but surely I can make it edible. Hanna is coming to help me, so between us, Google, and YouTube, hopefully, we can make it work. Judson is flying in from Miami today, he's been gone a couple of days, and I am having severe withdrawals.
I open the door to the car and lay my camera bag in the seat. This house is on the beach, and the drive back home is about twenty minutes. I am anxious to get back to put dinner on for Judson and get things prepared for tomorrow. The road twists and I can't help but drive a little faster than usual, blame it on the excitement. My eyes move to the stereo to adjust the sound. When I look up, the truck is coming straight at me over the yellow lines. I don't have time to think, honk, or even swerve before we are colliding.
Silence.
Everything from this moment feels like slow motion. The airbag explodes from the dash, and glass is shattering around me. In what seems like an eternity, my car finally comes to a stop, and everything is black. My ears are ringing, and I hear screaming and shouting, but I can't respond. The ringing gets worse, and I hear someone yelling to dial 911. The sound of the saw cutting through the metal fills my head, and emotions flood my body. My body that I can't move. I feel so many different things but mostly fear. I have never been afraid of dying or the thought of death. However, the idea of leaving Judson is making me feel an ache in my chest that I haven't ever felt. I'm not sure where to put those feelings. I feel myself floating in and out of consciousness. The darkness is scaring me, and the pain is unbearable. They are moving me from the car, and I can't see or scream, but I feel.
Boy, do I feel.
Sight unseen, I can tell the crash is terrible due to the number of frantic voices I can hear.
In what seems like only seconds, the noise becomes silent again, and I'm dreaming. At least I think I'm dreaming because my sight has returned. The light is so bright, it's like a glimpse into heaven. I have never understood the phrase "blinded by the light" until now. I have never really believed in things I can't see or explain. I am overcome with emotion when I see past the glare.
It's my dad.
"Dad? Is that you?" I scream in excitement. When the vision becomes more evident, I know it's him, and he's holding a baby.
Mybaby.
She has the sweetest little button nose and is wrapped in a pink blanket. He lays the baby down in the crib and turns to me, and reaches out his hand. He doesn't speak to me, but he pulls me by the hand into a new scene. I see Judson, with two beautiful kids and the back of a woman. That woman is not me. I feel my heart breaking into a million tiny pieces around me. Is he showing me the life I am going to miss?
He looks so happy, pushing a little girl on the swing set and an older boy that looks just like him, playing basketball with Jay. At that moment, this perfect incredible scene, I realize how much I need him. How much I love him. Next, he shows me, Judson, sitting on the floor of the ICU. He is a mess, his hands cover his face, and Jameson has him wrapped into a hug. I can't cause him that pain. I have to get to him.
"Dad, I can't." I sob, "that is Judson. I have to go back." He doesn't speak. He just touches my hand and pulls me into a hug. The familiar place sends chills all over my body. I feel at peace, he pulls me into him, and with the touch of his lips against my forehead, I am in the hospital bed, awake.
CHAPTER 27
JUDSON
The plane wheels can not touch the ground fast enough. I haven't seen my girl in 2 days, and it's driving me crazy. The past few weeks have been amazing. Just having her around makes my entire world better. It honestly makes me ready to jump out of this plane with a parachute if it would get me there faster. Okay, maybe not, but I'd be lying if I said that thought hadn't crossed my mind.
I make my way through the airport and power my phone on. Jameson has called me like twenty times. I don't even bother listening to the voicemails and call him back. Something must be up because he never calls back to back. He rarely calls me at all. He prefers to text.
The phone barely rings once before Jameson picks up, "Jud, you need to get here now. It's Blake. There was a wreck. She was hit head-on. They aren't sure if she is going to wake up." I feel my heart fall into the depths of my stomach and search for my driver. There is a particular urgency in Jay's voice that makes the air in my lungs feel sparse.
"I'm leaving the airport now. What are they saying?"
"A truck crossed the center line and hit her. She's in pretty bad shape. So far, they aren't saying much. They've called her mom."
They aren't talking to Jameson because he isn't family. They probably won't speak to me either. Shit. I can't get there fast enough. The car feels like it isn't even moving. I don't feel like I can breathe, I loosen my tie and take my suit jacket off. I feel the tears burning my eyes as I try to fight them back. I have never done love, but I can't lose her, and that fact smacks me right in the face.
The car pulls up in front of the hospital, and I make my way to the ICU, where I find Jay and Hanna. Jay is shaken up, and Hanna is hysterical.
Her hands are shaking as she grabs my shoulder to pull me closer, "I'm so sorry, Judson, I wish we could've gotten you here quicker. The cops found her phone, and I was the last person she called, so they called me. I came straight here. I watched them wheel her in." Hanna sobs into my shoulder as she pulls me into a hug. I run my fingers through my hair, which is now a mess. I can't sit here and wait for her mom. I just can't. I make my way to the front desk.
"I'm here to see Blakely Walker. How is she? Can I see her?" I am rambling off as I attempt to walk past the desk.
"I'm sorry, sir, but we can't let you back unless you are family." She taps her pen onto the paper she was scribbling on.
"She's my family." The lady sees the desperation in my eyes and buzzes me back.
"Room 102." I practically run through the double doors and make my way to find her.