"What are we doing?" I ask.
"We're flying. That is the quickest way to get you back." He's right.
"How did you do this so fast."
"Connections, don't worry about it."
We jump out of the car, and Judson hands his keys to the valet. He slings a backpack over his shoulder, and we rush into the airport. We sit in the lobby of the airport near our gate, waiting to board. This sweatshirt feels like a protective barrier. I pull my knees up inside. Judson is bigger than me, so there's plenty of room.
"I grabbed some of your leggings if you want to go put them on." He pulls them from my backpack. I grab them and slide off the chair and down the hall to the restroom. I slip them on over my legs and instantly feel warmer. I've never had anyone take care of me like this before, he knows what he is about to walk into, and still, there he stands right by my side. The thought of facing Dakota hits me, and I am throwing up in the toilet before I can even control myself.
I splash water in my face and pull my hair into a top knot, and all of a sudden, I'm back to sad, lifeless Blakely. I can't help but think this is my fault. That's Dakota's game. I try to place the guilt somewhere out of my mind. I don't feel regret. I should regret leaving him, but I don't regret anything. These last few months have taught me more than I ever thought. I need to face him, get this chapter of my life closed. I hear them calling our gate, so I make my way out and back to Judson. We sit on the plane and wait for take-off. He grabs my hand, and I lay my head on his shoulder, where I feel safe.
Most of the flight is silent as I go over scenarios in my head. What to say. How to say it. The plane lands, and as I imagined, the anxiety is like a brick on my chest. The car stops at the hospital entrance. Judson gets out and helps me out.
"You don't have to do this," I assure him, knowing the stares he is about to receive.
"Don't worry about me." He states as he pulls me in closer to him.
Here we go.
The doors to the ICU waiting room slide open, and the moment I have been dreading the past three hours is here. Everyone goes from whispering to silence. Like you could hear a pin drop silence. The tears smear my mascara down my cheeks. I wipe them with the sleeves of Judson's sweatshirt.
Shit. This doesn't look good. I'm here to see Dakota with Judson.
Cami runs up to me and pulls me in close for a hug, but her eyes aren't on me.
"Cami, this is my friend Judson, Judson this is Cami." She looks at me and then back to Judson. I know what she's thinking. I want to tell her it's not what it looks like, but it kind of is what it looks like.
Dakota's mom, dad, and sister sit across the room. They won't even look in my direction. The questions and hate is written all over their faces. I feel like I'm a ghost haunting their lives. It's obvious they don't want me here. However, they haven't asked me to leave, knowing that Dakota wouldn't want me to go.
My head hasn't left my palms. I feel less nauseous when it's down between my knees. Judson's hand rubs my back, and I can feel the eyes around the room, burning a hole through us. Maybe I should be more considerate and wait somewhere else.
The doctor comes out, and Dakota's mom jumps up from her seat.
"He's going to be okay. The crash's impact was intense, both of his legs are broken, and the damage to his right ankle is severe from laying the bike down. He will need another surgery. Other than that, a concussion and some bruising. Your son is very fortunate. The helmet saved his life. He is awake if you'd like to see him."
She grabs his dad by the hand, and they make their way back. The circumstances surrounding Dakota and I aren't "normal," so I stay put and wait until someone tells me what to do from here.
All of two minutes go by, and Dakota's dad comes out.
"Blakley, he's asking for you."
I don't move. I just look at him. It's like my body doesn't comprehend his words.
"Are you going to be okay? Want me to walk you back?" Judson whispers.
He helps me up, and the look on Dakota's father's face is furious.
"Blakley, this isn't a good idea. He warns me as I walk by." I pretend like I don't hear him. We stop before entering the room.
"Do you mind waiting out here?" I turn to him.
"Of course not. I'll be out here if you need me."
Five months of feelings come crashing to me as I enter the room. The tears are filling my eyes as I make my way to Dakota.
"Blakley?" Dakota whispers, and tears fall down his face. This is basically the first time I have seen him face to face since my dad's funeral.