"So, what exactly do you do?" I laugh, and he just smiles because he knows I have no idea about anything he is saying.
"Basically, I sit in on meetings and decide what will turn a profit and sign off on final deals."
"So, you're the boss?" I wink and give him a huge grin.
"I'm the boss." He smiles and walks out to the porch to start the grill.
"How did you get the gig?" I am tight on his heels and plop down in the chair next to the grill.
"It kind of just fell into my lap." He slaps the steaks on the grill and shuts the lid.
"Well, that was pretty lucky. You obviously do well for yourself."
"I don't know if I would say lucky. The circumstances weren't ideal." He takes a deep breath and looks at me as if he is getting ready to let the flood gates loose.
"It's okay if you don't want to talk about it. I can be pretty nosy." I scrunch my nose, pulling my fingers up to inspect my nails. He makes me so damn nervous, if I was a nail biter I wouldn’t have any left.
"Well, my dad lied to a bunch of really important people and went to prison for fraud. I had just graduated from college a few months prior, and it was basically thrown on me like a wet towel. I didn't want any part of it at first, but my mom helped build a lot of what my dad destroyed, and I needed to make sure that her name wasn't dragged through the mud. So I got a lawyer, and Russ helped me settle with some investors."
Holy shit.Prison. Wasn't expecting prison. I thought he was dead, honestly.
"Do you visit him?" If I don't ask, I'll never know.
"I haven't seen him since the day he was booked six years ago. I made it perfectly clear I was done." I can see it in his eyes how pissed off talking about him makes him.
"I'm sorry." Is all I can manage. I know that doesn't mean shit. Here I am with one less parent, and Judson doesn't have either. Kind of puts things into a different perspective for me. I feel selfish.
"What is your tattoo?" His arms haven't been still enough for me to really examine. He turns his forearm over, and I take his hand into mine. I am treating his hand like it is glass and could break at any moment. My eyes wander over it and examine a small paper boat. His tattoo is of a folded origami paper boat. Underneath are the initials JER. I run my thumb over the initials and look up at him. He still doesn't speak.
"What does it mean?" I whisper to him.
"Jacob Elijah Russell." My heart drops into the pit of my stomach. If anyone knows anything about loss or the grief that I'm feeling, it's Judson.
"What happened?" He sits in the chair next to me, his legs spread with his elbows on his knees. His are holding up his head as he looks at the ground.
"They found him about five years ago, near the docks. He drowned." He doesn't look up from his feet. The words hurt him so much coming out. I can tell he hasn't said them much to face the reality of it all, much like myself.
"Why the paper boat?" I ask, trying to lighten the mood.
He looks up at me from the ground with the saddest tear-filled eyes I have ever seen.
"The first time my dad hit me, I was ten. He was an entitled asshole, and I was just a little shit that stood in the way of his golf trips and gambling. It was mid-day, and mom came home from a long weekend in New York, shopping with her friends. She told him she was pregnant with my brother, he was furious. He was screaming and threatening her. He was so drunk he was slurring his words, and it was barely 11am. I was so pissed at him, so I ran into the middle of the argument, and the back of his hand met my jaw. My mom was so scared. I could see it in her eyes. She told me everything was okay to go outside and play. I hesitated for a minute, afraid he would hurt her, but she nodded to me that she was okay. So I did what I do. I went down to the docks. Russ was down there, tying his boat up. He knew something was wrong. His wife had passed away years before that, and he didn't have any children. He jumped back into his boat and came out with the morning newspaper and folded me a boat. He played with me there until my mom came back outside to find me and get me inside."
He sighs and averts his gaze in the other direction, fighting back the tears, as I squeeze his hand. This guy, who has been mostly a mystery until now, just opened up to me. He let me in, I just wish I could do the same thing.
CHAPTER 15
JUDSON
Seeing her wash the dishes from dinner at the sink, barefoot and beautiful, is toying with my mind. I see a vision of her, wearing my ring, feeding my kids,ourkids. She turns back to me with her snappy attitude.
"Like what you see?" She flips her hair over her shoulder and winks at me.
"No," I say as dryly as possible. Her mouth falls open as if she is offended.
"I don't like what I see. Ilovewhat I see."
"That has to be the worst pickup line I have ever heard." She rolls her eyes and grabs her phone from the counter.