“I really think it would be best for everyone if you just found someone else,” I repeat, although not very convincingly.
He leans closer to me, so close that I both fear and hope that he might kiss me, but he does nothing of the sort. Instead, he just stares deeply into my eyes, and I can see the sunflowers of his irises.
“Do you really think that?” he asks me, and I know I can’t lie.
“No,” I sigh. “I love this job. I love everything about it but… we’ve made it complicated, and I can’t risk having Marley hurt as a result.”
“That is the last thing I want,” he assures me. “To see Marley hurt. Don’t you think you leaving will do exactly that?”
“I know,” I admit. “I know that she’s gotten to like me as much as I like her.”
“She loves you,” he corrects me. “I can tell.” He sighs heavily, then continues. “It’s been tough with everything that’s happened. That’s why I tried to keep Marley away from people who might come into our lives, only to leave again. She’s already been hurt too much for her tender age. I have to be careful.”
“I know,” I assure him.
“When you came into our lives, it was… it was like you brought a little bit of sunshine with you,” he tells me, and I’m shocked at the way he’s talking, almost as if this is not the Dominic Hart everyone knows, but some sweet, kind impostor. “Marley has been closed off with everyone, and I guess I’m the one to blame for that. I tried to keep her protected, but I only did her a disservice. You showed me that, because when you came into our lives, I could see how desperate she was for more people to care about her. I fear that losing you would be a harsh blow for her.”
This is where he pauses, allowing me to gather my thoughts. I never thought about it, but he’s right. I could see how starved for attention and affection Marley has been, not from him, because he gave her all the love he had in him, but from others. And a little child needs the company of others as well, to learn and to grow. It’s crucial for their development.
“I would hate her to lose you just because I was an idiot,” he admits, and it actually makes me smile.
I can see how hard it was for him to say all this, because he’s not the type to share his feelings with anyone. I knew this from before, and when I started working for him, this knowledge only strengthened.
But over the course of these past weeks, I’ve seen a different side to this man, a side he has obviously worked very hard on keeping concealed from the rest of the world. Because he knows that such a man could never be successful in the cruel business world. They would eat him up alive, but at home, I could catch a glimpse of this other man, and now, he is standing before me, completely bared. I honestly do not know what to say or think, other than the fact that he is right. Marley will not handle it well. She might clam up again, and this time, it might be even more difficult to get her to come out of her shell, because she might think that everyone will eventually leave her.
“But…” I start, still not sure how any of this could work if I stay. “How will we go about… us?” I gesture at him then back at me.
“There is no us,” he assures me.
Although I wanted him to say this, the sound of it still hurts, because deep down, I was still hoping that against all odds, we might end up together, but I should have known better. Such things happen only in romance novels, never in real life.
“I really appreciate all your help around the house and especially with Marley,” he says, with each word pushing me away from him. “And sleeping together was wrong. It shouldn’t have happened. We are both adults, and we know now that if it continues to happen, we might hurt Marley.”
“Yes,” I nod, immediately focusing on the most important thing here.
“So, will you stay?” he asks, his voice lingering between pleading and an order, not really leaning to either side.
He already knows my answer before I say it. I also know it, but I’m afraid. Only, I can’t say that to him.
“Yes,” I nod.
He immediately pulls away, standing up from the bed. “Good,” he says, sounding nervous, as if he just realized that we’re alone and we shouldn’t be alone. “I’ll go get ready for work then.”
And with those words, he just leaves the guestroom. I remain seated, wondering what I just got myself into. I try to remind myself that I need the money and nowhere else will I be able to make that amount for such a job. Nowhere.
I need the money for my studies. I can’t stop now, halfway. My dad is counting on me. I have to be smart and forget all about my emotions. I have to disregard the fact that this man is gorgeous and knows exactly what to do to make me shiver with desire. I have to stop thinking about all of that and just pretend like it never happened. Obviously, he plans on doing the same.
I stay in bed for a few minutes longer, then I get up and get dressed. Ihear the sound of running water from Dominic’s room. He’s getting ready for work. In the meantime, I go to the kitchen and make Marley’s breakfast.
In half an hour, Dominic peers through the open kitchen door and nods.
“I’m off,” he tells me.
“OK,” I nod, smiling a little nervously. I wonder whether Marley will notice anything. Kids are like that. They pick up on stuff you don’t want them to, but it’s impossible for them to neglect it. They have a sixth sense for it.
I listen to the sound of the front doors closing, and for some reason, I am washed over with relief. As much as I want him around, I know that it is better for me when he’s not. I can focus on Marley and the real reason why I’m here. Marley and my studies. Those two should be enough for me to steer clear of that man, and just focus on forging a superficial relationship with him from now on.
Only, that is easier said than done.