Slow and steady had always been Atlas’s motto and it had served him well. But sweet, shy, sensitive Declan managed to test Atlas’s control and confidence in ways he hadn’t expected. It was both thrilling and frustrating.
He was so tempted to take his father’s advice and ask Declan if he was staying and if he was ready for a long-term relationship, but then they’d both feel pressured. Andeverythingwould feel serious. How could they have dinner and enjoy their first time—whenever it happened—if their entire futures hinged on it being good enough for Declan to want to stay?
“Maybe I am overthinking this,” Atlas scolded himself. “I want him to stay and Dad might be right, Declan might be waiting for a reason.” He nodded decisively, ready to give Declan several. Starting with his most provocative sweater.
ChapterEight
Why did he tell Sage about the kiss and why did Declan have to listen to him? It was Sage’s idea to invite Atlas to dinner. Not that it wouldn’t have been a brilliant idea for a normal person with normal adult emotions and stable mental health. But it was aterribleidea for Declan.
He was about to jump out of his skin, he was so nervous and ready to cry as he set the timer on his phone. The roast would be done in just over an hour, the red wine was aerating, and a perfect apple tart was cooling on the counter, but every cell in Declan’s body was screaming for him to call and cancel. Declan thought that having everything prepared and ready to go would settle his nerves. What could there be to panic over if all he had to do was hold it together and make polite conversation for a few hours?
So much, apparently.
He’d worked all the kinks out of dinner and that had just left Declan free to worry about everything else. Especiallyafterdinner.
Declan had all but proclaimed that it was his intention to have sex with Atlas. What if there was a reason Atlas hadn’t accepted Declan’s prior invitations and had just agreed to dinner to be polite? Or, what if they had sex and it was bad? It would probably be Declan’s fault because he could be a bit clumsy and he’d only tried sex a handful of times with other people.
“Please don’t mess this up!”
He didn’t have a lot going for himyet, but if Declan could hang onto the luck that had carried him to Lake Cliff… He finally had real friends and they were amazing. And he was going to find an actual job instead of floating aimlessly through degree plans and stalling.
There was a knock at the door and Declan yelped as he jumped.
“He’s early! Why is he early?” He clutched his forehead as he turned and scanned around him. “I’m not ready!” He whispered, even though he technically was. “I was planning to have a panic attack five minutes from now,” Declan murmured at his watch and went to get the door.
“Howdy!” Blake waved cheerfully when Declan opened it.
“Thank God. I was scared you were Atlas,” Declan said, melting against the doorjamb in relief.
Blake’s neck craned in confusion. “Scared? Why?”
“I’m not ready.”
“What are you talking about? You look great.” Blake leaned back and gave Declan a once over and nodded. “Yup. You look great and dinner smells incredible.”
“Thanks…” Declan looked down at himself and shrugged. He asked Reginald for help and he guided Declan to a powder blue cardigan and a fitted shirt and trousers in the exact same shade of blue. They made his eyes look even bluer and Declan had to admit that he didn’t look as pasty as usual against the soft hue. “Reginald picked it. What’s up?”
“Brought you some salsa!”
“Thanks…” Declan repeated warily as he accepted a large jar from Blake. He held it away from him, afraid of getting red stains on his clothes. “I made a charcuterie platter but I guess I could put out some chips and salsa too.”
“I made itextra spicy!” Blake said, wiggling his brows suggestively.
“Oh.” Declan held the jar even farther away. “I can barely eat your salsa.”
“Ha! Thanks!” Blake seemed delighted as he crossed his arms over his chest and beamed at Declan. “I was thinking it might give you a reason to take off your clothes. You know, if you two start sweating and panting…?” His eyes widened and he cleared his throat loudly.
“Blake!” Declan pushed the jar back at him. “I am not going to assault Atlas with salsa so I can get him out of his clothes.”
“Not that you’d need to. I think he’s just waiting for the signal.”
“I’m pretty sure he knows I want him to take off his clothes,” Declan said, then gave his head a shake. “Talking about this is making it so much worse.”
“Why?” Blake looked concerned as he hugged the jar.
“Because!” Declan rubbed his brow as his head started to ache. “Everyone knows and you’re all rooting for us to be together. It’s great and I appreciate all the help but how am I going to face everyone if I blow it with Atlas?”
“Oh, no! You’re not going to blow it and we shouldn’t be pushing. I’m so sorry!” Blake held up a hand, backing away from the door. “Forget what I said and don’t change a thing. Everything’s perfect and you’ve got this.”