“Julie wouldn’t let it out of the office.”
I throw up my hands, infuriated. “You don’t know that.”
The alpha male runs a hand through his hair, leaving the black strands attractively tousled.
“Elisa,” he begins, frustrated.
I don’t want to hear what he has to say, though. I walk to the door, ready to own up to my decisions and face whatever this stupid mistake will mean for my career. Because what have we done? I didn’t just sleep with my publisher once in violation of the rules. I did it three times, and in his office to boot. With the door unlocked. Whatever bad things are coming my way … I feel like I deserve it.
9
Robert
Oh shit. Things have gone south in a real bad way.
“Please don’t go,” I tell Elisa. “I really like you.”
The beautiful brunette is practically shaking with anger. After all, I told her if anyone were to find out about us, it would threaten both of our careers. So what have we been doing? Why would we jeopardize what we’ve worked so hard for?
But it’s not the sex that’s the mistake. Doing it in secret was.
Because I’ve been thinking about it since I met Elisa. I feel something for this woman. Something real, powerful, and profound. And it extends to more than the physical. I want to be with her, for real and not in secret anymore.
But the woman can’t hear me because she’s so angry.
“You like sex,” she says, fear and anger sharpening her tone. “I’ve read all about you. It’s like… it’s like you’re publishing my book in exchange for my time with you. I feel like a slut!” Tears swim in her eyes. “You’re paying me by publishing my book. I’m no better than a common whore.”
The words hit me like tangible projectiles. “That’s not true. Publishing your book has nothing to do with what we have.”
“Forgive me for not believing you. Every time we’ve been together, it’s always been about my book. Or at least at first, before we get carried away. Tell me, is that a coincidence? Or did you plan it all?”
I walk over to my desk and slam my fist down. “I would never pay a woman for sex. I would never publish someone’s book in exchange for anything, let alone sex. Sweetheart, my reputation’s on the line. Would I sacrifice that for a little pussy?”
She won’t meet my eyes. “Again, forgive me for not believing you,” Elisa says in a brittle voice. “It’s a little far-fetched right now.”
But I shake my head.
“Trust me, I would never pay a woman for sex.” And then the moment comes. “My mother was a prostitute,” I say in a tight voice, the revelation practically killing me. “My father paid her for the opportunity to knock her up, and then she tossed me out after she gave birth. I’m basically an orphan.”
Elisa’s face softens. “Robert, I didn’t ….”
“No. You didn’t. What part of what we’ve done has ever been like that? Your book and our relationship have nothing to do with one another. If you ever felt like I forced you…. Well, I never meant for it to be like that.”
Elisa looks remorseful, and takes my hand. “No, you’re right. It wasn’t like that. You never forced me into anything. I wanted to have sex with you. I’m just… I’m freaked out, that’s all. Julie is probably out there telling everyone right now. If they didn’t already know. But now there’s an eye-witness account that they can use against us, and it’s terrifying. I knew getting published was too good to be true. I let myself get my hopes up.” Her voice cracks at the end.
“Elisa, stop,” I say firmly. “I’m not going to let your book get tossed. I have influence over the board. I can change the rules. Like I said, this is my company and I call the shots.”
But the beautiful girl raises tear-filled eyes to look at me.
“Why haven’t you, then?” she asks softly. The girl pauses and licks her lips. “Did you ever care about me?”
I do, and that’s the problem. My feelings for her confuse the hell out of me. Because being with Elisa is like being in the orbit of a supernova, and I need Elisa to know, now more than ever.
“I care for you. A lot,” comes my low voice. The words are nothing compared to what swirls in my chest, but it’s a start.
She frowns. “You do?”
“I do. I’ll talk to the board, get them to change the rules or make an exception for us,” I growl.
Elisa takes a step back. “I know you mean well, but it’s okay,” she says softly. “I don’t want you to sacrifice your career or reputation for me. Maybe Julie hasn’t told anyone. Maybe she won’t tell anyone.”
I run a hand through my hair, inexperienced with being open and expressing my feelings. “No, that’s not it,” I swallow, feeling vulnerable. “Being with you has been amazing, sweetheart. More than you can imagine. Even when we’re just having lunch together, it’s been better than anything I’ve ever had.”