She smiles wobbily. “You’ve been with a lot of girls. I’m not special.”
I’m suddenly afraid of losing her before I even have her.
“But you are,” I say fiercely. “I’ve been with a lot of women, but none of them have made me feel like you do. It’s always just been about sex with them. With you, it’s different.
“Well, we have had a lot of sex,” she says softly, flushing red.
“No,” I say fiercely once more. “It’s more than that. Way more. You mean something to me, sweetheart, and it goes beyond the physical. It goes beyond my cock or fingers in your pussy. It’s way more than that.” I reach for her, and when she doesn’t resist, I tug her to me. “I’m falling for you, and I want to be with you, sweetheart. Do you understand? Please help a poor soul like me.”
And before Elisa can answer, my head drops to capture hers in a deep, passionate kiss. Because I need to show her how much I care through the stroke of our lips. But to my surprise, Elisa pulls away gently, her caramel eyes filled with emotion.
“I’m sorry, Robert,” she says softly. My heart begins to crack, anticipating her words. And they come like a hammer on my dreams, smashing them to smithereens. “I can’t do this. My career means too much to me. You understand, right? I mean, you built this company up from the ground. You know what it feels like to want something so badly that you’d do anything to make it happen.”
“I know what that’s like,” I say fiercely. “I’ve poured my heart and soul into this business, and I would have done anything to make it successful. But I feel that way about you too. Together, we can be successful, me as a publisher and you as an author. I’ll talk to the board sweetheart. Please, just give me a chance to make this right.”
But Elisa’s not listening, and she shakes her head slowly.
“No Robert,” she murmurs, smiling sadly. “It’s not necessary.”
It feels like she punched me in the gut. “It is!” I exclaim. God, I sound desperate. But that is actually what I am.
Unfortunately, the brunette’s on a different plane, and she shakes her head once more. “We can’t fix this. I just have to hope that ending things is enough to convince your board to keep my book in the upcoming catalog. I won’t jeopardize this, Robert. I can’t. I’ve worked too damn hard to get published, and I can’t risk it.”
I finally understand that I’m a fool for ever developing feelings for a woman. I feel like a balloon that’s been punctured and is slowly deflating. What the fuck? This is so fucking unreal. Usually, it’s me giving the send-off, and not the other way around.”
“So you don’t want to be with me,” are my harsh words.
“What?” she asks, confused. “Of course I do.”
My snort was sardonic. “I just poured my heart out, and you rejected me, sweetheart. What’s a man to think?”
“That’s not what I’m saying, Robert. I do like you.”
“If you ‘liked’ me, then we wouldn’t be having this conversation. You would let me try to fix it.”
Fuck, even I can tell our words are going nowhere. Nothing’s making sense anymore, and I can see it on her face.
“Fine,” Elisa says, frustrated. “You’re right. I don’t care about you the way you care about me. I’m not ashamed of what we’ve done, but I don’t want it to leave this office. I don’t want to be with you out in the real world. That’s why I don’t want you to go to the board. I don’t want to risk it because I don’t want them to say we can date. And I don’t want to date you. There, are you happy now?”
Her words slice my insides raw. She’s the first woman I’ve ever had genuine feelings for, and yet she’s thrown them right back into my face, landing in a gloopy mess all over my cheeks and chin. Funny how the world works.
“Okay,” I growl, staring daggers at her. “Then I guess we’re finished here.”
Elisa nods. “Can I fix my clothes please?”
I motion to the bathroom. She picks up her bra and panties from the floor and sails inside to make herself presentable.
Elisa doesn’t take long to get her clothes on. She won’t even look at me when she returns.
“Goodbye, Robert,” she says in a brisk voice.
“I’ll walk you out.” Even though she just ripped out my heart, I still want more time with her. How fucked up is that? It’s like I’m a masochist for pain.
“Robert, come on,” she says impatiently. “Let’s not drag this out.”
I ignore her. We walk to the door, but I pause before opening it. “I’m really sorry about this Ms. Morgan. I meant everything I said.”