‘How the hell am I not going to feel responsible for what happened to a frail old lady?’
‘Err…because it wasn’t your fault. Symes hurt her not you, and that’s not even the whole story, is it? That’s not even the whole bag of guilt. Let’s go in on the girls now and really get this party started.’
‘It’s all because of me.’
‘Conceited much, Stone? And he did it because he could. He hurt Edna because he wanted to. He didn’t have to. He wanted to. He has snatched two girls because he wants to hurt them. That’s on him.’
‘If he hadn’t been looking for me, none of this—’
‘Again, not true, Stone. Symes is held together by hate. If it hadn’t been you, it would have been the judge or the prosecutor or the guy in the coffee shop who forgot to give him sugar. He is a man that lives to hurt people.’
‘I don’t need a shrink, and you’re full of shit anyway,’ Kim shouted as her annoyance rose.
‘No, I’m not and you know it, which is why you’re getting agitated.’
‘I’m getting fucking irate because you’re trying to tell me how to feel.’
‘Nope, it’s because I won’t let you wallow in the most indulgent, useless emotion that we are able to feel.’
‘I’d really like you to fucking leave.’
‘And miss all this fun? No way. Who exactly does your guilt help? Your neighbour, her daughter, the doctors and nurses taking care of her? The techies trying to find clues? The girls? The officers trying to find them? Who does it help, Stone? Who the hell does it help?’
‘Me,’ Kim shouted in her face.
‘And there you have it, ladies and gentlemen. The truth. DI Stone wants a reason to feel shit, to beat herself up, to punish herself even more.’
‘You finished?’ Kim asked, crossing her arms as the coffee started to filter.
‘Not quite. If you need to feel shit, do it because you have a bad attitude and an obtuse manner. Feel shit because seventy per cent of people who meet you don’t like you. Feel even shitter about the fact that some of those people like you even less after spending’ – she checked her watch – ‘over fifty hours with you. I can give you many reasons for you to feel shit about yourself, but not being able to stop Symes doing what he’s been planning for years isn’t one of them.’
Kim burst out laughing. She had no idea why but it felt good. ‘Do you provide this service for all your clients?’ she asked.
‘Only the ones I really can’t stand. So, you gonna let the guilt train leave the—’
‘Enough with the bloody train already.’
Leanne surprised her by laughing. ‘Fair enough. Analogy overload. I get it and coffee’s ready,’ she said, nodding towards the percolator.
‘You lost your legs?’ Kim asked.
‘I made dinner.’
Fancy word for the meal, but she did have a point, Kim thought, taking out her phone. She sent a brief text message and wasn’t surprised at the quick reply. She scrolled to the number and called, having checked the detective constable was still up.
‘Yeah, boss,’ Stacey answered.
‘Did the lorry driver’s statement come back?’ she asked.
‘Delayed cos he insisted on having a solicitor present. I didn’t hang about and—’
‘No, of course not,’ Kim said, interrupting the apology. She hadn’t expected her to.
‘Do you want me to check the system to see if it’s on yet?’ Stacey asked.
‘Oh, Devon would love me for making you—’
‘Devon’s fast asleep. It’s okay.’