‘Make yourself at home, why don’t you?’ Kim said, taking a seat on the visitor’s side of the breakfast bar.
‘Seeing as I’ve spent more time with you than I have my entire family in the last five years, I’ll take you up on it.’
‘MI5 not free to bring your supper tonight?’
‘It was almost funny last night, less so tonight.’
‘I’m praying to God I don’t have to say it again tomorrow,’ Kim said, taking a bite out of the sandwich.
‘You and me both,’ Leanne said, throwing a couple of cheesy chips into her mouth.
The thrown-together sandwich was delicious, so much so that she went in for another bite before she spoke again.
‘You’re not close with your family?’ Kim asked. They were about to spend their third night together and she felt entitled to ask.
‘It’s complicated so keep eating cos you’re gonna need your strength in the next ten minutes.’
‘For what?’ Kim asked, taking a cheesy chip. She added some salt to the pile before taking another.
Leanne simply shrugged and took a big bite of her sandwich.
Kim continued to eat in silence, wondering how hard Leanne would laugh if she asked for the recipe. She could see the recipe right in front of her. It was a sandwich and chips, yet in her hands it would be a sawdust-dry, gloopy, tasteless mess. She finished the sandwich, took another couple of chips and then ripped off a piece of kitchen roll to wipe her hands.
She took a deep breath and allowed the air to expand her ribcage. She’d never been one to practise breathing exercises, but a good deep breath always helped to ward off the feelings trying to grow inside her.
‘I still can’t believe he was just doors away,’ she said, heading around to the correct side of the breakfast bar. They swapped places and Leanne slid her plate across to the bar stool.
‘I just keep seeing Edna, tied to that—’
‘And here it is, right on time. You didn’t need the full ten minutes,’ Leanne said, wiping her own hands clean.
‘What?’
‘The guilt train. It’s just pulled into the station and is waiting for you to climb aboard.’
‘You do know you’re a total freak, right?’ Kim clarified.
‘Doesn’t mean I’m wrong. It’s right on time. I called it for eleven thirty and it’s five minutes early.’
‘Emotions don’t run to a clock. They can’t tell the time,’ Kim snapped, adding coffee to the machine. She didn’t know about Leanne, but she wasn’t going to bed any time soon.
‘Actually, they kind of do. They run on succession. Guilt is an indulgent emotion, rarely accurate and serves no purpose.’
‘You know, being lectured on human emotions by you is the very height of—’
‘Every emotion you used tonight was beneficial. Your anger propelled you into action; your fear alerted you that something was wrong. Your stubbornness meant you didn’t stop working on Edna until you brought her back. Your sympathy prompted you to hold her hand. Your empathy got her daughter to the hospital. Your tenacity ensured we stayed there until there was nothing else that could be done.’
‘Why am I even still listening to this shit?’
‘Since coming back into the house you’ve taken care of your basic physical needs. You’ve drunk a pot of coffee, showered and eaten a sandwich. Survival. Now comes the part you don’t need, but everything else is taken care of so let’s explore some useless emotions that will help no one.’
‘Bloody hell, once you start, you can’t stop, can you?’
‘What’s going through your mind?’
‘Fuck off.’
‘Proving me right, Stone.’