Do I think that if I look pretty enough, they’ll take one look at me, tell me how much they miss me, and confess their undying love?
Unfortunately, that’s what I’m tempted to do the minute I spot Duke.
He’s at his post outside the entrance, surrounded by a small group of women. They’re having a conversation, and he doesn’t appear to be carding them. I hate the jealousy that burns in my chest. I have no right to feel this way.
I spent two nights with Duke. Well, there were more nights sleeping under his roof and sharing meals with him when our schedules lined up, but two nights doing intimate things. How can I possibly feel like he should be mine? I’m ridiculous.
“That’s Duke, right?” Kelly asks. At the sight of him, I’d nearly forgotten Kelly was with me, much less the fact that she’s been introduced to him.
“Yeah,” I say, my mouth dry.
“Is he one of the dancers?” she asks as we make our way toward him.
“No, just a doorman, or bouncer — I’m not sure what his job title is.”
“That’s too bad,” she says, before adding with a giggle, “I wonder how often he has to bounce rowdy women out of the club?”
The women who are talking to him now look like they may intentionally act up just to get carried out by Duke, but as soon as he sees me, he waves them off.
“Autumn.”
“Hi.” After looking at him for a moment and taking in little details like the fact that his hair is slightly shorter while his beard looks longer, I remember my manners. “You’ve met Kelly?”
“Hi.” Duke gives her a nod before returning his focus to me. “How’ve you been?”
“I’m okay.” Carrying on with life, though it suddenly seems to have no color, is what I could tell him.
“And your apartment?”
“It’s fine.”
“I’ll meet you inside,” Kelly tells me before she continues through the door.
“Okay.” I stay put, enjoying this stilted conversation more than I should.
“How have you been? Anything new?” I ask.
He shrugs and shakes his head.
We used to have great conversations when I was living with him. Long talks about growing up on the island, about jobs he’s had, about how I got into IT work, and when I started singing and playing guitar, but here we are now, less sociable than strangers. Stiff and uncomfortable.
“Adrian and Trevor are already in their dressing room,” he says. “They’ll want to see you after, though.”
“Are they leaving for the academy soon?”
He gives a single nod. “Next week.”
“Okay.” There are other things I could ask him, but I suppose it would only prolong the awkwardness, and it’s hard to think clearly when a big part of my attention is consumed by the sight and smell of him, of wanting to touch him… “I guess I’d better go find Kelly.”
There’s a pause, his gaze fixed on me, before he says, “Enjoy the show.”
I wait for a group to pass and then join the line behind them.
Brittany’s at the ticket counter, and lights up at the sight of me. “Autumn! How are you? I haven’t seen you for a while. Have you been busy playing shows?”
“Not yet. I have a couple coming up later this month, though.”
“That’s great,” she says. “Maybe I can come to one if they’re on my nights off.”