Truth be told, he’d been able to afford better than this place even before his promotion, but the better pay was still relatively new, and he was comfortable here. He’d lived in much worse places.
“I’ll come with you and stand outside the door,” he assured her quickly, suddenly thinking of her out in the hallway at the mercy of the rough denizens of his building. “I know it isn’t what you’re used to, but it will be fine.”
She didn’t look as though she believed him, but matters seemed to have reached a critical state because she allowed him to wrap her in his robe and lead her out of his flat and down the hall. Her face was a deep shade of scarlet as she closed the door behind her, and he felt a pang of embarrassment that he had nothing better to offer her.
Women like her were brought up to pretend like they didn’t even have bodily functions. This must be humiliating for her.
Several minutes passed before she finally came out again. “Well, that was... unpleasant,” she said shakily, and as he thought of how disgusting his fellow tenants could sometimes leave it, he could only imagine the worst.
“I’m sorry,” he said, hurrying her back to his flat. “Next time, I’ll go in first. Make sure it’s clean for you.”
Assuming there was a next time.
“It’s fine,” she said, her face still hot with embarrassment as he shut his door behind them. “Really. I just wasn’t expecting... that.”
He scrubbed his hand across his face and tried to think of how he could salvage the situation. “Can I make you some tea? Perhaps some eggs?”
“That would be lovely,” she said, obviously grateful for the change of subject. “I’ll just go get dressed.”
She hurried over to where she’d left her bag, picked the clothes she’d hurriedly discarded last night off the floor, then hurried into his bedroom.
As soon as the bedroom door clicked behind her, he made his way into the little kitchen, lighting a fire in the stove and filling a kettle with the pitcher of water that he had to go to the communal water closet to fill. With a sigh, he put it on to boil, then ran down to use the water closet himself, shaking his head when he saw it was just as bad as he’d feared.
By the time he returned to his flat and scrambled up some eggs, his lovely little house guest had come out, looking somehow as neat and tidy as she had when she’d arrived last night.
He quickly put the eggs on two plates, then went over and pulled her into a fierce hug. “I know this is uncomfortable for you. It is for me as well. But you look lovely, and I’m so very glad you came to see me last night.”
“I’m glad, too,” she said against his chest. “I’m certain I’ll get used to the rest of this. Everything just seems so... intimate.”
“Being lovers is a very intimate thing,” he said, with a bit of a smile. But his smile faded as he thought of the other women he’d been with. With the others, there had been no slow, sensual lovemaking in front of the fire, no sleeping in each other’s arms and waking up together. No, it had been a quick perfunctory coupling, followed by both parties going their separate ways.
This is better. This is what I want. How could I ever have been satisfied with so much less?
“Come, let’s have some breakfast,” he said, letting her go and returning to the stove to grab the plates of eggs, which he placed on his small table.
She sat primly across from him, so very much the countess. She’d probably never eaten eggs off an earthenware plate without the correct silverware setting and cloth napkins. He didn’t even have napkins, and his silverware was mismatched and tarnished.
But she dug in heartily, not giving any indication that she’d expected more, and his heart gave a surge of something he hesitated to name.
She suddenly put her fork down and met his gaze. “I just realized that I went all evening without even once thinking of Evelyn.” A rush of tears filled her eyes, and she dashed at them with the back of her hand. “I’m so grateful to you for providing me this escape from all those terrible thoughts and the grief, but I also feel guilty.”
He put his own fork down and reached across the table to cover her hand with his. “Don’t ever feel guilty for taking a break from the grief. I am certain that Evelyn would never begrudge you a night of passion.”
“Perhaps not,” she said shakily. “On some level, I know that. But it’s still hard to even think about moving on without her.”
“Try not to think of it like that,” he said, and he felt a new rush of anger at The Viper for having caused so much sorrow. “Think of it as simply surviving.”
She nodded and picked her fork back up, taking a few more bites before offering him a hesitant smile. “These eggs are quite good. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
* * *
THEY ATE IN SILENCE for a while, but then Jocelyn pushed her empty plate away and met Sebastian’s gaze. She’d felt entirely out of her element since the moment she’d awakened. “I don’t really the know the etiquette in situations like this. What do we talk about the morning after a night like last night?”
He gave her a burning look. “I wouldn’t know. I’ve never had a night like last night. And I’ve never had a woman stay the night with me. Other than my wife, of course.”
“Of course,” she murmured, blushing hotly. She was glad that last night had been special for him as well. “When would you like to do this again?”