He squeezed her once more, then released her and went to sit back behind his desk. “How are you?”
She took a seat across from him, staring at him a bit suspiciously. He was being incredibly nice. Perhaps too nice. What trick did he have up his sleeve?
“I thought you’d summon me after you spoke to Quinn,” she told him. “I’ve been going mad wondering what you’d decided.”
Sighing, he leaned back in his chair. “O’Brien pointed out that this decision should be up to you. I tried to argue the point, tried to convince him that you never would have gone to him in the first place if you knew what was best for you, but he was very convincing.”
Despite his words, his eyes sparkled, and she realized he was not as angry as she’d expected him to be. In fact, he didn’t look angry at all, even though she’d dragged their whole family into a terrible scandal.
“You like him?” she asked, somewhat confused by his reaction.
Lucien nodded. “I always have. He’s helped our family out of several scrapes, and I have no doubt he’ll be good to you if you decide to go through with this.”
“So, you’re not going to force me?” She still couldn’t quite believe he would allow her to have the final say. It went against everything she’d thought she knew about him.
“It would be cruel of me to force you to spend the rest of your life with someone you didn’t want to be with,” he said. “I’m so happy with Serenity that I could never wish for anything less for you.”
“Do you really think such a thing is possible for me?” she asked, voicing her worst fear. “Or do you think I have too much of Mother in me for a man to ever truly love me?”
“Oh, Allison,” her brother said softly. “Why would you ever think such a thing? You are nothing like Mother. You are good and sweet and kind, and we all love you to pieces.”
He’d never actually said it before, and she couldn’t stop her eyes from welling up with tears. “I love you too, Lucien. I’m sorry that I’ve created such a scandal.”
“It isn’t the first time this family has been mired in scandal,” he said with a laugh. “I imagine we’ll muddle our way through.”
Relief washed over her. Perhaps all was not lost. Perhaps she could continue on with her life as though nothing had happened.
Seeming to understand where her thoughts were headed, he sobered. “No one will dare to snub the rest of the family or me. I believe they’ve come to accept that we all prefer to marry outside our class, even if they don’t like it. Things will be different for you, however.”
“They will make me pay for this,” she said in a small voice. “Because I’m a woman.”
He didn’t try to argue with her. “I doubt you’ll ever be received in polite society again if you choose not to marry him. You’ll be branded a trollop and never receive an offer of marriage despite your large dowry.” He gave her a searching look. “You’ll also never be able to solicit donations for Mercy House or your other endeavors, nor be on any of the charitable committees you love so much.”
“You don’t think they’ll eventually forget? Move on to some new gossip?” she asked, but she already knew the answer to that.
“Allison... it may not be fair, but if you were allowed to take a lowborn lover, cavort all over town by yourself whenever you wish... Unfortunately, far too many men could not abide you showing their own wives and daughters that they might be able to do the same.”
The unfairness of it all nearly overwhelmed her. “What should I do?”
Lucien shrugged and gave her a pitying look. “You know the consequences to both courses of action. As O’Brien said, the decision has to be up to you.”
Lucien had been bossing her around for so long she had no idea what to do in the face of his new attitude. Strangely, she found herself wishing that he would tell her what to do. For all his bossiness, her brother was very wise.
But she supposed she already knew what he wanted her to do. He wanted her to marry Quinn and start a family. That’s what everyone wanted for her. Perhaps that’s why she’d always fought so hard against it. What contrary part of her personality was so set on going against everyone’s expectations?
She sighed. “I need to speak with Quinn. Can you arrange for him to come here?”
“Of course. I will arrange a dinner party and invite Morgan and Adrian and their wives as well.” A glimmer of satisfaction lit Lucien’s eyes, though she wasn’t certain why. She hadn’t told him what answer she meant to give Quinn. Still, he seemed very smug all of a sudden, and she wondered if he’d somehow manipulated her into doing exactly what he wanted her to.
A protest rose on her lips, but then she forced it back down. She hated to subject Quinn to her entire family at once, but perhaps she needed to see him with them. She knew it would be overwhelming for him, but she wanted to see how he got along with them. Would he be intimidated by having dinner with an earl in Mayfair?
If she and Quinn were going to make things work, they had to find a way to bridge the gap between their worlds.
“All right,” she said after a long pause. “That would be lovely.”