The morning of the wedding, I woke up with giant knots in my stomach. I knew how the day was going to turn out. Hell, I knew before that day came that I should’ve called it off sooner.
When I pull into the driveway, there’s a minivan parked in front of the house. I open the truck door and squint to see if I can recognize it. The door opens and my friend, Judson, gets out. I haven’t seen him since the wedding either.
He opens the back door, pulling baby Jackson, his youngest, from his car seat.
“Hey, man.” I acknowledge, rolling back onto the heels of my tennis shoes and placing my hands comfortably in the pockets of my scrubs.
“So he speaks,” Judson chastises, “Does he call yet?”
“I’m sorry, bro. I just… didn’t know what to say.”
Never mind that your brother is the guy that flipped my entire life upside down. I think to myself, but the look on my face must say everything.
“I should’ve told you the truth from day one,” he admits. “When we became such close friends, I should’ve told you that Jameson was Ellie’s father.”
I shake my head, waving it off, “It’s okay. It was Hanna’s place to tell me, not yours.”
He adjusts Jackson against his chest, and I throw my thumb over my shoulder, “You guys want to come in?”
Jackson begins to cry, and Judson looks to me, “Yeah, he probably needs a bottle.”
I flip the light on in the kitchen and watch as Judson fishes around in a backpack for everything he needs for the baby.
“Blake makes it look so easy,” he laughs, “Nothing about parenting is easy.”
I feel a ping in my chest when I think about how I used to make Ellie Mickey-shaped pancakes and kiss her boo-boos.
“Where is Blake?” I ask, noticing that half of his family is missing.
“She and JC went to the mall for new shoes. The kid’s feet grow super fucking fast.”
I laugh, “I know. I remember Ellie would only wear shoes for a couple months, and it seemed like I was going to get some more.”
He puts the bottle in Jackson’s mouth. He begins to calm down, holding it himself. “I’m so sorry about everything that happened.”
“You didn’t do anything.”
He winces, “I left Jameson’s letter for you.”
I chuckle nervously, “Seriously, dude, it’s okay. I knew she was in love with him, and I don’t think she ever stopped.”
He looks around my house, “How are you so… I don’t know… Cool as a cucumber about everything?”
“Honestly?” I huff, “I think I just realized that, eventually, I would find the right girl. One that is going to choose me over everything. If your dickhead brother can have unconditional love, maybe there’s a shot for everyone.”
Judson laughs, “Damn, dude, sounds like you are still a little bitter.”
“I’d be lying if I said the whole thing didn’t leave a bad taste in my mouth, but I still think I did the right thing by leaving. Jameson knew what he was doing when he left me that letter to read. I could’ve gone through with the wedding but chose to give it all up. That was on me.”
Judson sighs, “I guess that’s one way to look at it.”
I blow out a deep breath, rubbing my sweaty palms down my thighs, “It’s the only way. It doesn’t do me any good to blame her or him. Either way, they ended up together. I’m sorry, I know he’s your brother. Let’s talk about something else.”
“He’s my brother, but we’re still friends, E. Eventually, everything will be good for everyone. Who knows, maybe you and Jameson will become friends.”
I raise my brow, “You on drugs?”
“I’m serious,” he rushes, “Hanna and Ellie still want you in their lives. Who knows, maybe everyone can get along.”