“You’re right.”
She grins, “I know I am.”
I feel my phone vibrating against my thigh, the buzzing noise grabbing Karly’s attention, “You gonna get that?”
I wiggle it out of my slacks and let it ring after seeing who it is.
“You can’t ignore her forever.”
“I can try,” I quip.
“What about Ellie?” She begs, “Think about Ellie.”
I feel the muscle in my chest tighten, “I just can’t do it yet, Jolene. Eventually, I will have to face the reality of it, but how do you tell a six-year-old that you love to death goodbye?”
“Hanna still wants you to be in her life.”
“But how?” I growl. “It’s just another reminder of everything I’ve lost.”
She hesitates a minute before sitting back on the couch, throwing her bare feet on the coffee table.
“I don’t know how you feel,” she sighs, “but I know what it’s like to lose someone you love.”
I scoff, “Ashton Slade hardly counts.”
She sits up straighter on the couch in defense, “Just because it was messy doesn’t mean my feelings weren’t real, because they were, and they were painful.” Her voice cracks a little, “You know what? Never mind.”
I feel like a complete jerk because she’s right. Ashton was a total douchebag, but that doesn’t erase the fact that she was hurt over the whole thing.
“I’m sorry,” I blurt. “I’m an ass.”
“It’s fine,” She whispers. “I’m getting used to it.”
I feel a lump begin to form in my throat because no matter how miserable I am, I don’t take it out on anyone else, and I’m definitely not that guy. The one she’s used to.
“You shouldn’t be used to it. I’m sorry. I’m being a jerk.”
“Yeah, you should stop. I don’t like this version of you.”
I sigh, “This isn’t even a version of me. I don’t know what this is, but you’re right. It sucks.”
She catches me off guard by laughing, “It does suck. Remember you’re supposed to be the stable one, and I’m the mess?”
I stare at her bare feet, admiring how open she is. How she’s not afraid to be vulnerable, to wear her heart on her sleeve, and give it away when she knows there’s a good chance it’ll get broken.
“You’re not as messy as you think. At least you always try to see the good in people. I don’t even want to think about doing that anymore.”
“It’s a blessing and a curse,” She laughs.
“Well, it’s one of my favorite things about you.”
Her eyes turn from the ground to mine, and I feel drawn to her. A pull I can’t quite describe, and despite wanting to, I shouldn’t be here. I shouldn’t be here because I shouldn’t feel this about my ex’s best friend. I’m sure she’s quiet because she’s overanalyzing what I just said, wondering what exactly I meant by it. I already freaked her out by trying to kiss her on my wedding night. Her voice is barely above a whisper, but her words surprise me.
“I have favorite things about you, too. “
CHAPTER 5
KARLY