“Charlie,” Ares began again. “I’m sorry I kidnapped you and tied you to a chair. I was more focused on getting Diana to forgive me and didn’t really care about your safety or feelings.” Ummm…that was one way to apologize.
“...Is this certifiable hairball your boyfriend?” Charlie asked, the alarm clear in his baritone voice. “Diana, we talked about dating crazies, I thought you were past this phase? Who are the rest of these guys?”
“Excuse you–we aren’tdating. Diana is myadelphipsychi,thank you very much,”Ares spat, his accent thickening with every syllable he spoke. “She’s my fucking soulmate, who I’m spending eternity with. And I’m not crazy. I’m–”
“Charlie, that’s a really long and complicated answer, and there are parts to this story that I’m not clear on myself. I think we all need to sit down and start from the beginning,” I interrupted as I steered him away from the guys, sitting him at the breakfast table next to me. “Charlie won’t be an issue. He isn’t going to expose us or cause problems, and it may be good to get a human’s perspective on all of this. Can we all sit down and straighten some things out?”
“Human? Di, you’re either fucking with me right now, or you have a lot to catch me up on,” Charlie sighed.
“Okay, so let me get this straight,” Charlie said. “You’re an immortal, witch-angel hybrid, and these guys abducted you to keep you safe and have you involved in their plan to assassinate your enemy, Satan. But not the same Satan that’s your one Dad–that one is the OG Lucifer. You didn’t actually die when you faked your death, and your psycho golden retriever burned down my favorite hookup spot, but youdidalmost die when the airport imploded. I still can’t believe they passed that off as a gas leak…” he mused.
“You seem oddly calm for finding out the supernatural world is real,” Mal commented. “Most humans would have a heart attack if they found out their best friend was an angel-witch hybrid living with four of the most dangerous supernatural beings in the Underworld, and a fallen angel who got kicked out of Heaven.”
“You blond, handsome, sweet-summer-child. Diana, this one is funny, too. I teach first graders in the New York City public school system and bartend at a suspected mafia-owned jazz club at night. I’ve seen and heard some crazy shit. Y’all existing doesn’t surprise me in the least. What I am surprised about is that Little Miss ‘I’m going to be alone forever, and I’m done with men’went and found herself a whole immortal basketball team of tall handsome men to play with. How did all of this happen…and for realhow does it happen?You still haven’t explained that yet,” he sassed, quirking his eyebrow up and looking at me expectantly for the answer. Oscar jumped into his lap, rubbing his face into Charlie’s stomach.
“And in private I will clarify that–” I started to say before Bash interrupted.
“It’s not that hard to explain. We all share each other. Except Mal, but he’s trying to get in good with Diana and fix everything,” Bash said.
“Whoa, I’m not convinced I want to be shared at all; the last time, you and Desmond acted ridiculous,” Zaz said.
So at some point there was a love triangle between Zaz, Bash, and Desmond…well that makes sense.
“And I wouldn’t touch you with a thirty-foot pole,” Ares said, side eyeing Zaz.
“Well, it seems like y’all have some issues to work out, but it’s good you have each other, because that means you probably won’t destroy my bestie’s vagina,” Charlie laughed and he pet Oscar’s head.
Oh, if he only knew. Their dicks could literally split me apart. I’m surprised my asshole wasn’t torn to shreds by Bash’s knot the last time he stirred my peach cocktail.It literally took me a few days to walk right after that sexcapade.
Shifting in my chair, I stared at Charlie, wondering whether to ask him about my family or not. It killed me not to know anything about them, but finding out bad news would only make me feel worse.
As if he could read my mind, he answered the question for me. “Babe, they are fine. Still really depressed about losing you, but physically okay. Angela is taking it really hard, though,” he sighed, squeezing my hand between his. “I get that you faked your death and cut contact to protect everyone, but the jig is up now. They’re magical too, so maybe they can help?” He glanced around the table at the guys for support, and it warmed my heart how much he was already fitting in.
“It would be nice for Diana to have her family with her,” Mal agreed, smiling at me. I didn’t expect him to really give a shit about my feelings.
“Charlie and Malcolm have a point,” Zaz agreed.I think Zaz and Char are going to get along really well.“Witches have good summoning magic, and they can probably think outside the box. Plus, Satan is injured, not dead. I think, for their safety, we need to move them out here.”
“Wait, you don’t think they’re safe?!” I panicked.
“Diana, we have eyes on them around the clock,” Desmond assured me, “But I do agree, it would be safest to hide them out here. I have friends that can help with that. We need to visit them anyway to get some information on your Dad. We can set up a safehouse for them.”
It felt as if an elephant lifted its ass off my chest. I missed them so much–every day without them weighed heavily on me and knowing they’d be here soon was emotionally freeing. A few tears started to fall, which promptly turned into sobbing like a lunatic. I tried my best to cover my face with my hands so no one had to see me ugly cry.
“Little Goddess, it’s okay,” Ares cooed as he pulled me into his lap. “I know how you feel. It sucks to miss your family. I miss mine all the time. We’re going to get them and keep them safe, okay?”
Ugh, why did he have to be so sweet and caring? Char was right, he was like a psycho-golden retriever-hairy Care Bear. Being mad at him was too hard when he held me like this and wiped my tears.
“Thank you,” I said around sniffles. Mal handed me a handkerchief, and after checking it was truly just a handkerchief, I blew my nose into it.
“Everything is going to be fine, dollface. Tonight, we’ll visit Judas at Fortuna’s Garden. That gives us enough time to get some weapons together and come up with a plan. We’ll ask him to find somewhere to house Angela and Nonna and then we’ll all sit down and make a game plan on how to find your other dad,” Desmond thought aloud as he paced around the island, swirling a glass of orange juice in his hand.
“As in the biblical Judas?” I asked. I wouldn’t even be surprised if it was.
Zaz laughed, slapping his knee. “No, that one was human, long gone. I assume you’re talking about Judas Costa?”
“Yeah,” Desmond said. “To take Red out, we’re going to need an army, and who better to have on our side than his coven?”
The group, spare Char and myself, considered that prospect. Most of them seemed in agreement, except Bash. He got out of his chair, plucking me from Ares’ lap on his way to an empty chair closer to Desmond. He sat me in his lap and stroked my arm while he hummed to himself.