What we did was simply unforgivable.
I couldn’t sit on the stairs any longer. I had heard enough and stood up, turning on the stairs and heading back to my brother’s room. I started to pace the floor next to his bed as my thoughts raced through my mind.
I had to figure out what I was going to do now that I realized the terrible mistake I had made. For certain, the last thing I was going to do was continue to encourage such horrid behaviors. And it didn’t matter that the relationship was clearly over with now. The damage might have been done, but I wasn’t going to stand for it. Not only was I lied to, but he misled me, and I gave him a part of me he didn’t deserve.
He cheated me out of my virginity.
But I couldn’t be entirely mad at him. I had a part to play in all of this. After all, I was the fool.
I wasn’t sure who I was angry with more. Me or him. I mean, ultimately it was me who ignored the signs and gave into my body’s needs.
I continued pacing as a different line of thinking came to mind.
Though I truly believed the possibility of this being very slim, I could have been overreacting. I was listening in on only part of a conversation. I had no idea for sure who he was speaking to. I could have been feeding into a conversation, putting in my own insecurities, and allowing them to dictate the other half.
As slim as I thought it was, I could have been completely wrong about everything that I heard. Maybe he was talking to a family member or a very good friend?
But those reasons just felt like I was trying to delay the inevitable. And because those thoughts gave me hope, I had to ignore them. What was done was done. I couldn’t allow him to get away with his actions so easily.
And now that I had worked out that we were both equally at fault, I had to come up with my next steps. And I knew exactly what I wanted that to be. The only problem was whether or not my want was feasible.
I headed to the window in my brother’s room and peered out onto the world now covered in a blanket of sheer, glittering white. The sight made me frown. There was only one way for me to be sure that I wouldn’t fall into Guy’s trap again, and that was for me to go home. But with the look of the world, it was going to be a hell of a lot easier said than done.
Still… I wasn’t going to give up. I wasn’t about to spend the next however long locked up in my brother’s room. Storm or not, I was ready to walk home if that’s what it took.
12
GUY
Cassidy and I had moved our discussion on to her and taking some time away to reinvent herself. Of course, this conversation couldn’t have been had with out her starting with the reason why she had blown up my phone the day before.
I assumed she was still sitting in the stairway of her apartment building, judging by the echo that had yet to go away. Her ex really grated on my nerves. The audacity he had to treat her like property and not like a gift set my teeth on edge.
I really hoped I never crossed paths with the man, because if I ever did, I would rip his head from his shoulders.
Cassidy breathed into the phone. “I didn’t know what else to do. He said he had hurt you and I was so desperate to hear that you were okay. I’m sorry if I ended up making things harder between you and your lady.”
“That’s why you were blowing up my phone?” I asked. “Oh my darling… I’m so sorry.”
Cassidy chuckled and snorted. “It’s cool now. But you may not want to call me darling. Wouldn’t want your lady getting the wrong impression.”
I nodded. That was a fair point.
Cassidy continued on with her plans regarding a spa somewhere around Manitou Springs. I wasn’t really paying close attention. I was still trying to cook breakfast, and I thought I had heard the shower kick on.
“I wish you the best of luck,” I said when she had stopped talking. “I know new beginnings aren’t fun, but they are long overdue for us. Don’t you think?”
“Long, long overdue,” she said. “What about you? What if trouble comes to your little slice of paradise?”
I knew what she was trying to do, and I wasn’t about to allow it. She was going to use me and my new relationship to get out of going and doing something for herself. It was almost as if she was allergic to self-care.
“I’ll be fine,” I said. “You just worry about you. Go do your thing. I’ll be okay. I promise.”
We had moved on in the conversation and was getting ready to wrap things up when the front door of the cabin suddenly slammed, causing me to startle. I damn near dropped the phone and the spatula onto the floor as I quickly turned toward the direction of the door.
“What was that?” Cassidy asked. “Did something explode? Are you still cooking?”
“I have no idea, what is going on, but it isn’t my cooking” I said, staring in the direction of the door. “I need to call you back. I better go figure out what’s going on.”