“So it’s just the two of us, then,” she said, and he heard her nervousness and winced. Why did she keep trying so hard, when it was obvious they shared nothing? Surely, they could send a few text messages each year and be done with the whole pretence of being ‘family’.
But even as he thought it, he remembered her hand wrapped around his, much smaller then, and the smile she’d offered as they stood on the end of that jetty. He’d been nervous, uncharacteristically uncertain. The water was a long way down, and he couldn’t see beneath the depths of it, so didn’t know what he was diving into. It didn’t matter though. Not when his mother was at his side, encouraging him, reassuring him.
She’d smiled at him, and he’d known he could doanything.
Winona led him to the kitchen, where a big brown dog with long hair and flappy ears lay on the floor. He lifted an eyebrow as Alessio and Winona walked in, before flopping back onto the floor with a ‘harumph’ of disapproval.
“That’s Bailey,” she said. “Named for the drink. It’s a weakness of mine.”
He nodded again. In a room of powerful people, Alessio was never intimidated, yet with his mother, he found it almost impossible to know what to say. It wasn’t intimidation though, so much as a sense that he didn’twantto say or give any part of himself to her, that might lead her to believe she was forgiven. How could he fulfil his promise to his father while holding onto the anger that had become a solid part of him?
“I hope you still love cannelloni,” she said with a hint of uncertainty, eyes searching his.
Visceral memories pierced his mind. Spinach and nutmeg, goat cheese, Parmesan, a sweet tomato sauce, so gooey and delicious, his little fingers chasing lines around the bottom of the bowl to catch the last of the meal and deliver it to his mouth.
“I haven’t had it in years.”
“Oh.” She looked crestfallen, perhaps mistaking his answer as a lack of enthusiasm. “You always loved it, mine especially. One time, when we ate in a restaurant, you ordered it, thinking it would be the same, but it wasn’t, and you were very cross.”
“Cross?” He repeated, brow lifted.
“Oh, fantastically so. You said you’d like a word with the chef. Your father and I thought it was hilarious. If we’d let you, you would have gone back there and instructed him in exactly how to prepare the cannelloni correctly. It was a Michelin starred restaurant, I might add.”
“I’m glad you didn’t allow me to do anything quite so rude.”
“You were never rude,” she responded, with a mother’s indulgence. “Only earnest. You were determined they should learn from your experience. You always knew best.”
“Don’t all children think that?”
“Oftentimes, you were right. I’d never known a child with such an old soul before.”
Not that old or wise. He’d still had a child’s heart, and she’d broken it completely.
“Anyway,” she murmured, perhaps sensing the change in his mood. “I made it again, for old time’s sake.”
He moved deeper into the kitchen, thinking of Charlotte, out of nowhere, and her abilities in the kitchen.
“The chef at the pub seems very good,” he said, finding it impossible not to bring her into conversation.
“Charlie? She’s wonderful,” Winona relaxed. “We were very lucky to find her.”
“She seems to work hard.”
Winona frowned. “Too hard, do you mean?”
“Long hours.”
“Yes,” Winona sighed. “That’s hospitality, isn’t it?”
“She has a young child?”
“Not her biological son, rather, her nephew.” Alessio knew all this, but he liked hearing about Charlotte as much as he liked talking about her, so he let his mother continue without enlightening her. Besides, he’d promised to keep the more intimate of their relationship private. “But Charlie is his legal guardian, and quite wonderful with him. I’ve often thought—,” she stopped herself abruptly. But Alessio had a way about him, a direct stare, a look, that was compelling. “Well, she’ll make an excellent mother, one day.”
It was a throwaway comment, but it landed strangely inside Alessio. Perhaps because of the way they’d spent the night?
“You’ve met her?” Winona asked with an innocent smile, as she moved to the fridge and took out a bottle of mineral water, pouring two glasses.
“Si.”