“Rhoan,” I tried again, tugging his face towards me.
This wasn’t going to end well. He would lash out at me at any moment. I had to brace myself for the coming attack. At least, I knew I could heal it on my own. I had a new healing ability, one that I’d needed ages ago.
Rhoan didn’t lash out at me. He firmly kept his face planted in the cushion like he could hide what was happening. I watched as his shoulders rippled. He rolled them uncomfortably as the shape of what looked like wings lifted his leather vest.
“You’re safe here,” I said, trying to echo things I’d heard mates tell their shifter partners. “I’m right here. Nothing can hurt us.”
Rhoan dragged in a ragged breath. The shape of wings fell, becoming human shoulders once more. He reached out and grasped my hand, squeezing it like he needed to know I was here.
While it tightened my heart to be needed by him, I knew that he was only making sure that his future queen was in one piece. I wasn’t near and dear to his heart. My place was beside his vow.
Still, I ran my hand through his hair and tried to ignore the fact that black feathers were falling to the floor each time I made a pass. The tiny little down feathers glimmered with the same oil-slick color that I saw in his eyes from time to time.
This man had a beast. I wasn’t sure why I was surprised, but I was. At least, I knew how to deal with men like this. I’d had plenty of practice while growing up. Perhaps that was why my biological parents chose Jasper and Molly James. Living with them prepared me to deal with the knight that my biological parents had set aside for me.
“Where were you?” I asked as I ran my hand through his hair again.
His hair was soft as silk. I couldn’t get enough of the sensation it conjured as it slipped between my fingers. Finally, he turned his face towards me. His eyes had been consumed by his beast, and his cheekbones were sharper, more angled.
I waggled the fingers of my free hand, greeting the beast for the first time. Color flickered over his lavender eyes. The beast acknowledged me, rather kindly actually.
“I went to save Taliesin,” Rhoan confessed.
Betrayal stabbed me in the heart. I clenched my fist in his hair in warning. “We could have done that together.”
“You knew where I was going.”
I had. And I’d asked if I could go with him. Rhoan had told me to stay here. I could have butted my way into this mission, but I’d allowed him to slip away without me. I didn’t even put up a fight.
Shame curled inside me. Rhoan wouldn’t be in this shape had I gone with him. Then again, I would have been a liability. Right? I had no idea how to fight. All his attention would have been on keeping me safe.
Rhoan pressed his eyes shut and grimaced. A growl rumbled in his throat. He caught my hand in his and tightened his grip on my hand almost painfully. Talons pressed into my skin and pulled back at the last possible moment before breaking my skin. When Rhoan exhaled, I heard the tremble in his breath.
“Is it still fighting you?” I squeezed his hand in return.
His lip curled in response. When his mouth twitched, I could tell the beast was nearly in control. I did the only thing I could think of—though, it was dumb and selfish in retrospect.
I leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his lips. Rhoan went completely still. He inhaled sharply, probably in surprise. I expected him to sink into me, to pull me close and take everything I offered.
Instead, Rhoan shot upright. He was across the room before I could even blink. Had he teleported? Or was he just that fast with his beast in the pilot’s seat?
He stood on the other side of the kitchen island with both palms pressed flat against the counter. The way he stared me down, with heated eyes, told me that he wanted to stay. He’d forced himself away.
I almost asked him why he was running. Instead, I swallowed the question and bit my tongue. I had to stop being a total idiot.
Raven-wing colors danced across Rhoan’s eyes before he winced and pressed them shut again. “I ran into someone with...with influence over the thing inside me.”
“Thing?” I asked incredulously. “That’s no way to talk about a part of yourself.”
Rhoan snorted, but he didn’t explain. There was clear animosity between himself and his beast. It wasn’t my place to push the issue. He might have seen me as his future queen, but that’s not what I wanted to be, so I wasn’t going to act like one.
His business was his own.
So, I stood and stepped up to the opposite side of the kitchen island. “What do you need? What will help you get control again?”
“I want—” He stopped, cutting himself off with a shake of his head.
“What do you want? Waffles? A bottle of whiskey? A bit of both?”