Though…if I had killed Delphine, we wouldn’t be in this situation over and over. I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I’d seen enough death in my time. I didn’t want to see the bodies of people I loved turn to ash and blow away on the wind anymore. It broke my heart over and over. The pieces of my heart were too small to keep shattering like this.
“You spared my life, so I’ll spare your princess’s.” Delphine nodded to confirm her statement.
It wasn’t exactly a vow, but I was inclined to trust her. A life for a life seemed like a fair deal. What I really wanted was her help getting Taliesin back so that we could have more allies on our side, but I would settle for this if it was all I could get.
“Release me, and I’ll be on my way,” Delphine said a little too eagerly.
Cerri snorted. “I’m not releasing you. I’m going to have Maddox teleport your ass into the middle of nowhere. You’ll have all the time in the world to figure out how to get out of this.”
Maddox, the man in question, gave me the most exasperatedhelp melook. He wasn’t part of our problem. I didn’t see why Cerri had to involve him, but he groaned and struck up a negotiation. Once the man realized that this woman would not stay in a mortal prison, he begrudgingly agreed to release Delphine somewhere far away from here.
Cerri knocked on the wood around Delphine’s body. It wouldn’t hold Del forever, but it was going to be a big pain in the ass. I guess it was what she deserved, though there was a bitter tone in Cerri’s voice that left me unsettled.
I took her arm and pulled her back towards her bedroom. We ducked under the veil of flowers still growing like an indoor garden. It gave us a semblance of privacy when I turned to her.
“You’re angry and it’s going to turn you into the kind of person you won’t like,” I warned her when I leaned in close.
I watched her jaw clench. She narrowed those pretty eyes at me. They were filled with fury and fear. She wasn’t afraid of what she might become. I knew that she was afraid of what could happen to her. And I hadn’t made that any easier on her. I’d left her alone this morning when I should have been here.
My beast stirred and agreed. It filled me with sour shame. I lowered my head and considered my next move carefully. It’d been a long time since I’d had to act as a knight. Had I forgotten what I needed to do? Or was I just really bad at my job?
I couldn’t risk the second option. I had to push it out of my mind and do everything in my power to keep Cerri safe. Taking her hands in mine, I dropped to one knee in front of her.
“From here on out, I will never leave your side. I promise to stay close so that I can answer your every need.”
20
CERRI
Shit.
My breath caught at the sight of Rhoan on one knee in front of me. His hands turned mine to fire as something sparked between us. Was it just me? Was it only my heart hammering like this?
Biting back a nervous laugh, I asked, “Even when I’m on the toilet?”
I had to alleviate this fluttering in my chest somehow. The only way I knew how was to make a joke.
The poison was still in my system. Maybe that fluttering wasn’t Rhoan’s effect on me. There’s was a strong chance that I was about to pass out, but I wasn’t going to walk away from Rhoan just yet. Arcana in a chokehold, I used a part of my attention to keep the poison at bay for a while longer.
Rhoan rolled his eyes, but a slight smile curled his lips. “Will that help you put more trust in me?”
I couldn’t bring myself to trust anyone other than myself right now. No one could give me what I needed, so I was on my own more often than not. No one would stay by my side all day and through the night. I had to be on guard at all times.
Rhoan promised me constant protection, but I didn’t believe he really meant it. The man had left me vulnerable more than once. While I wanted to love him and the pretty words he said to me, I didn’t believe in them.
I fought for my life every waking moment and died in every dream. It was exhausting. I couldn’t handle it anymore. I had to be ruthless if I was going to survive…
I ripped my hand out of Rhoan’s. “You think I’m going to end up like Beryl.”
He inhaled and tilted his head to the side like he was bracing himself for a fight. Every breath was ammunition for the argument he was preparing.
I backpedaled and stormed out of the room. Since Delphine was still trapped in the wooden case, I could actually go outside and look at the sky for once. Before I could exit the room, Delphine called out to stop me.
“If you see me again…” She paused with a grim set to her lips and an emptiness in her eyes. “If my poison doesn’t take you today and you see me again, know it is against my will.”
A shiver raced down my spine. I looked her up and down. She seemed strong and capable, impossibly so. With a hand pressed to the wound still in my chest, I wondered what would happen if a power stronger than her got ahold of her. Would I survive that assault?
“You can’t kill me with that poison anymore,” I told her before leaving the room.