Nagisa cupped his cheek. “I might have done the same in your place. Don’t beat yourself up.”
“My mistake cost people their lives.”
Nagisa opened his mouth and tried to think of a counter-argument or anything to make Seiho feel better about this whole situation, but nothing came up. “We’ll solve this,” he said, hoping to hell some semblance of a plan would come to him.
Seiho chuckled, shoulders shaking slightly, then leaned down and kissed Nagisa. “You sound so sure. I like it.” He smiled. “I’ve lived in doubt and agony this entire time, trapped with my own thoughts. It’s difficult to keep going, to not give up, to not finally succumb to despair.”
Pain slashed through Nagisa’s heart. Seiho thought him determined, but in reality he was scared, yet he couldn’t bring himself to shatter this newfound ray of light Seiho had found.
All he could do was smile back and bring Seiho down for another kiss, a longer and deeper one. His fingers dug into Seiho’s back, pleasure zapping through him as Seiho shifted to lie on top of him. When he pulled back and looked into Seiho’s eyes—their normal dark brown color now—he realized they weren’t empty and tired like they were the night they met, but full of hope.
Nagisa wrapped his arms around Seiho’s waist and held onto him as they enjoyed each other again until they were a mess of sweat and tangled limbs.
“You’ll have to leave,” Seiho said, staring up at the ceiling. “I can’t keep the castle here during daylight. The lord is asleep, but people will still get lost in the maze of hallways.”
“What happens if you take it to the other side with me in it?”
“I’d most likely kill you. You have no powers to survive there. Frankly, I’m surprised I’m still alive too.” He stood and put on his clothes.
Nagisa followed, picking up his garments. “How does it feel for you when you’re stepping outside the barricade of spiritual energy?”
“It’s lighter because the jikininki’s aura isn’t pressing over me anymore and I have a sort of sense that time is passing normally. I guess my body is reacting to it. I also have a stronger sense of hunger, thirst, cold and warmth.”
As he buckled back his belt Nagisa asked the question that had been nagging at him since last night. “Do you also age at a faster rate?”
“No.” Seiho shook his head and relief washed over Nagisa. “It’s as if I’m picking up where I left off,” Seiho continued. “To me, it feels like it has all happened recently, like mere weeks passed, but I know it hasn’t. I don’t fully understand it myself. This loop is something I hadn’t foreseen and it’s possibly caused by the fact that time doesn’t exist in the world of spirits. Not in the way mortals, understand it.”
“That sounds… complex.”
“It is. And believe me, I regret what I’ve gotten myself into.”
Grasping Seiho’s shoulders, Nagisa squeezed lightly. “Don’t worry. You won’t be staying here for much longer.” He wanted to addI promise, but swallowed his own words. Sounding determined was one thing. Making a promise he wasn’t entirely sure he could keep was a different thing.
Seiho smiled sadly and led him out of the castle. The hallways still looked the same to Nagisa and he glanced around as he kept close to Seiho, trying to pinpoint something that would tell him how to find Seiho’s room in case of emergency.
Nothing stuck out, on the contrary. He had the impression he was passing by the same rooms over and over again. The holes in the sliding paper doors seemed similar. The stains of mold on thetatamifloors inside all rooms were identical. And there were no signs of furniture.
“Have I gone completely mad or are we going in circles?”
“We’re not,” Seiho said and twined his fingers through Nagisa’s. “But it’s meant to look like that to you. Same with the apparent lack of windows.”
“Yeah, I noticed. There are so many windows when you look in from the outside and yet none on the inside.”
“The darkness is meant to drive people crazy, make them scream so the lord has an easier time finding them.”
Nagisa shuddered just from remembering the snorts and cracks the creature made as it fed on that leg. Part of him wondered whether that person was a friend of those at the club who had told Nagisa about the castle. Another part of him wanted to forget that image and never think of it again.
But in order to get Seiho out of his place, the creature needed to be destroyed, so he had to focus on the jikininki and find out more information. Returning his attention to the rooms, he gazed at the pictures of Seiho hanging in the rooms. They were a stark contrast to the deplorable state of the castle. Dazzling, with vivid colors, shimmering in the darkness, and Seiho on the green grass playing theshinobueflute.
Now when he had the whole story it wasn’t difficult to guess why the paintings hadn’t been affected by the curse. Seiho was the jikininki’s fire, burning bright despite the lonely life he led, and the creature kept Seiho here, to have him all to itself. But even strong as Seiho was, being trapped was no way to live.
“Does the creature have any weaknesses?” Nagisa asked as they exited the castle and reached the bone yard. He couldn’t help but stare at the thousands of bones littering the ground.
“None that I know of,” Seiho replied, “or I’d have exploited it myself.”
Nagisa opened his mouth to speak, but tripped on something pointy which scratched his leg and he hissed. It was a long and thin bone, sharpened at the tip and sticking out of the ground. “What’s with this bone?”
“The lord placed it there. I don’t know why.” Seiho shrugged. “But I’m not allowed to remove it. What baffles me about this bone is that it remains here when I move the castle. I never see it on the other side.”