“I did something you didn’t want me to do.”
I shut off the stove and quickly rounded the counter. Heat radiated from his shoulder when I set my hand on him.
“Tor, you didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Adam asked you if you wanted me to wake you up. You said yes. I thought that was consent.”
“I know. It was a misunderstanding. I’m not mad at you, Tor. You heard the sounds I made. I liked what you did. But that’s why I’m embarrassed. I should have realized you weren’t Adam. I should have been able to tell the difference. And I’m worried that what we did together is going to give you false hope.”
He lifted his gaze to look at me.
“What do you mean?”
“I’m not ready for a new boyfriend and might not be for a very long time. Or ever.”
He gently tweaked my chin.
“You don’t need to love me, June. I will still keep you safe.”
There was nothing I could say or do. He seemed to understand the situation perfectly, and he wasn’t upset or hurt even though I’d just nicely told him I had no intention of jumping into a relationship with him. Why, then, did I feel so guilty about it?
“Thank you,” I murmured before returning to the other side of the counter.
I worked in silence, very aware of the way he watched every move I made. When I set a plate of spam fried rice in front of him, he finally looked away to study the food.
“I haven’t seen the meat made this way before.” He picked up his fork and took a bite.
“Making it like that stretches the meat. The rice also picks up the saltiness of the pork. The peas and carrots give it texture and color. So it pleases your mouth as much as your eyes.”
He glanced at me. “Yes. Pleasing to the mouth and eyes.”
He said it innocently enough, but that’s not where my mind took it. I rewound to yesterday morning and how he’d look down at my private parts with longing and hunger.
“Your face is turning red again. Why are you embarrassed?”
“Sorry. Hot flash.” I fanned my face. “I think I might skip the movie and go to bed early.”
“A flash of heat, like a fever? Are you sick? Should I get Cassie?”
“No, no. I’m fine. Hot flashes can happen for so many different reasons. I’m not sick. But if I did get sick, you wouldn’t need to panic. Humans often get colds. It’s not the end of the world.”
He studied me for a second then went back to eating.
“So what else do you not like besides red sauce foods.”
“Peas taste bad, but not the way you make them. I like eating them this way.”
“I’ll keep that in mind. What else?”
We talked about human foods he’d tried through the rest of the meal. He noticed that Mya loved sweets, especially chocolate, and wanted to know if all women were like that. I gave another “not all, but most of them do” answer, which didn’t seem to bother him.
Once we cleaned up the dishes, I wished him a good night and went upstairs. It wasn’t until I was on the cusp of sleep that I realized I should have taken Adam’s bed. I told myself one more night in Tor’s large, comfy bed as I drifted off.
I should have relocated.
Instead, I woke up with my sweat-soaked tee-shirt sticking to my back in the middle of the night. The heat radiating off of Tor’s chest, and the arm anchoring me against that broad expanse, complicated the problem.
“Tor,” I said, pushing at his arm, “you’re making me too hot.”