“No, June. They won’t.” His gaze shifted again. “Don’t let her come back here. It’s only going to hurt her more.”
That sentiment snapped the fragile hold I’d maintained on my hope. Hope that he was only struggling as Cassie had said. Hope that he’d give himself some time to heal. Hope that he’d realize how much I loved him.
“Hurt me more? How can you possibly think anything can hurt more than how you’ve already hurt me?”
He flinched.
“Take her home, Tor, before she starts yelling.”
Yelling? I dug the pill bottle out of my pocket and tossed it to him.
“There’s the oxy I risked my life getting. For you. Let me know when you’re ready to act like a decent human being.”
He picked up the controller and started playing the game again, not acknowledging the pills that rested in his lap.
I turned and walked out the door. Everything started to shake. My hands. My arms. My legs. I stumbled a few steps and started to sniffle. A pained sound escaped me.
A moment later, I was up in Tor’s arms. Tears started falling in earnest, and I tucked my face against his chest. While heartache was the prevalent emotion, others were bubbling beneath it. Disbelief and denial were at the forefront. Adam had never been such a complete ass to me. Ever. This had to be some kind of weird lack of confidence thing. He was doubting his ability to keep me safe and pushing me toward someone he thought was better for me.
That brought on more tears. How could he think a complete stranger was better for me? Three years. Talks about getting married. A family. All gone.
I barely registered the sound of a door opening. It was only when Tor put me down and started unzipping my jacket that I realized we were home. Home without Adam. What was I supposed to do now? Mooch off of Tor? Was my invitation to stay at Tolerance only good if Adam and I were a couple?
The importance of those questions collapsed under the weight of the bigger one. Were we really over? He would come to his senses. He had to. Yet, his comment to Tor about not letting me come back rang with a finality I couldn’t ignore.
Tor’s face swam into focus right before mine. Concern lit his green and gold eyes.
“Should I get Cassie?”
I shook my head, my throat too tight and aching to answer.
He grunted and smoothed a hand over my head. The comforting gesture only made me cry harder because it should have been Adam.
Tor immediately removed his hand and looked around the room before tugging on his ear.
Knowing my crying was making him uncomfortable, I hung up my jacket and went upstairs. The bed welcomed me back, and I burrowed under the covers.
Why hadn’t I seen this coming? What could I have done differently? My mind raced as my insides hurt. I wished today had never happened. Maybe I shouldn’t have gotten so mad about this morning’s misunderstanding. Maybe I should have taken some time to talk to Adam about how he was feeling before I left. Maybe I should have been clear that I hadn’t liked what Tor had done.
I barely had that thought when guilt gutted me because I had liked it. Far too much. Maybe that was why Adam left. Maybe he heard me.
My throat grew tighter and more painful as I continued to cry.
A whisper of noise almost muffled by the sounds I was making registered enough that I lowered the blanket from over my head. Tor paced nearby, tugging on his ear so hard it was turning dark grey. When he turned and saw me looking at him, he hurried to the bed and fell to his knees beside it.
“I don’t know what to do.”
Breath hitching, I tried to reassure him.
“Adam hurt my heart, Tor. Nothing but time will take that pain away.” My face crumpled as I struggled under the weight of those words. Time. Time without Adam.
Tor made an angry sound.
“Adam is being stupid.”
I nodded, tears falling faster. Tor picked me up and partially slid under me, hugging me to his chest.
“He should have married you,” Tor said, sounding angry.