Adam looked down at the ground for a long moment, and I couldn’t even begin to guess where his mind was going with all the new information. But I could feel him shaking.
“We should get you back in bed or you’re going to hurt too much to sleep tonight.”
Tor immediately came over to assist.
“I want to go,” Adam said when he was once again settled on his bed. “When they take Uan, I want to go too.”
“As your girlfriend, do I have any say in this decision? You’re simply going to up and leave me?” I looked at Tor. “How long will it take to get there and back?”
Tor considered my question.
“The infected are smarter now,” he said slowly. “The traps are more complex. It took many days and nights to get here from the caves. It would take almost twice that now. And twice that to return.”
“So what are we saying?” I pressed. “Two weeks? Three?”
“Perhaps,” Tor said.
I turned back to Adam.
“You didn’t want to let me out of your sight for more than three seconds but you’re willing to run off for three weeks to die and maybe be reborn without your injury? No. You’re not allowed to ask me to sit here in a constant state of worry and fear for three weeks because you have a bum leg.”
Adam studied me, his expression growing sadder by the moment.
“Don’t do this to me,” I said softly. “Don’t risk yourself on a maybe when you don’t know what time will do for your leg. I’ll get you something better for the pain. You’ll be fine.”
“You still want to go tomorrow?
“Yes.”
He glanced at Tor then back at me.
“They head out early. We’ll need to make sure you’re awake on time.”
“Okay. Yeah, fine.” I exhaled in relief that he was actually listening. I knew he was afraid his leg injury would result in a permanent limitation, but not as afraid as I was of him never coming back if he went to those caves.
“I’ll go finish dinner. Want to watch another movie tonight?” I asked.
“Nah, I have a lot of thinking to do, and you need to get to bed early. It’s not safe out there, and you need to be sharp.” He looked at Tor. “Promise me, no matter what happens, you will always put her safety first.”
“I swear,” Tor said.
“I’ll be fine, Adam. Just focus on yourself and getting better.” I leaned down to brush his lips with a kiss. He surprised me by grabbing the back of my head and kissing me with a need I hadn’t seen from him in weeks. It left me breathless and unsteady when he finally released me.
“I know you’ll be fine,” he said. “Tor will make sure of that.”
Knees still weak, I nodded and left the room. I missed Adam. It seemed far longer than a week ago since we’d been together. If I felt that way, did he? Maybe I was the distraction he needed from the pain. Sure, we couldn’t have actual sex yet, but I was more than happy to use my mouth on him.
Heart lighter, I made dinner, only half-listening to Adam pull more promises from Tor to look after me. My mind toyed with several possible ploys to remove Tor from the house for a while, but I finally settled on simply asking him to leave for a bit once we were done with dinner.
However, my plan fell apart when Adam said he was tired after he finished eating.
“Are you sure? I was thinking you and I could spend a little alone time together,” I said.
“I think alone time right now would only hurt us both in the long run,” Adam said without looking at me.
It broke my heart that he was in so much pain that he was willing to pass on what I was offering. Especially after that kiss. The desperation he’d conveyed with his mouth hadn’t been fake or fleeting. And it settled in my mind as I snuggled in Tor’s bed.
It also fed my dreams in the best way possible.