“I felt the same,” Tor said.
I reached out and gave his shoulder a light squeeze.
“Thank you.”
He nodded, and I left the room to see what Emily was cooking that smelled so good.
“I smuggled in a box of cake mix,” she said when she saw me. “Complete with frosting.” She gestured for me to sit as she scooped something non-cake-like into a bowl.
“We found a stash of holiday candy when we were out there,” I said. “We left it in the supply shed for someone else to fight over and opted for more practical items.”
“That’s smart. But sometimes cake is necessary.”
I couldn’t have agreed more.
She joined me at the kitchen island and slid a bowl of beef stew my way. I recognized it from the box that Tor had brought over.
“It’s not exactly breakfast food, but food is food, right?” she said, noting my hesitation.
“I’m grateful Tor thought to bring it,” I said. “It was really sweet for both of you to think of us.”
“You seem surprisingly comfortable around Tor and the other fey. They terrified me the first time I saw them. While that wore off quickly, I was still pretty wary for the first few weeks.”
“They’re a lot nicer than the people here. Do you know you were the first one to welcome us? Matt showed us around, but there was no welcoming vibe. To be fair, Adam had to be carried here because of his concussion.” I sighed deeply and played with the stew. “I guess there wasn’t much of an opening for friendly introductions.”
“Don’t think you need to excuse them for my benefit. I had to live with these people on two occasions, and neither was pleasant.”
“Fear and desperation are a toxic combination. Adam and I learned that early on from the people over the radio. They felt like family. People to talk to when we were otherwise cut-off from the world. Then they started going quiet, one by one. We learned that there were people using that feeling of community to learn the locations of those of us hidden away. They were killing our radio friends for supplies.”
“And then you came here. Your supplies were taken. And Adam was beaten.” She reached out and covered my hand with hers. “It shouldn’t have happened that way. It should have been your choice to share what you had. It should have been your choice which community to live in.”
“Why didn’t we have those choices?” I wasn’t angry with her but trying to learn the rules like Adam said.
“Because the humans here fling their hate at the fey while expecting them to risk everything to keep them safe. I know the fey look like they’re big and strong and indestructible, and in a lot of ways they are. But, they also have a fatal weakness that the people here used relentlessly. The fey just want to belong. They want families of their own, but they’re all men. They lived without sunlight for thousands of years. When they first came above ground, it hurt to go out during the day. It still does, but they ignore it. Do you know why? They’re desperate to do more than exist. They want to be a part of something bigger. Our world, as crappy as it is, is better than what they had. Endless darkness and countless deaths and rebirths. Can you imagine? Dying again and again and coming back with all those memories. All they’ve known is pain.”
Emily released my hand and shook herself.
“Sorry. I’ve made it my personal mission to find ways to integrate them into our lives. As you can tell, I’m passionate about it. They do so much for us and ask for so little in return. Anyway, my point was that we don’t allow people to choose where they want to live because most will take advantage of the fey.”
I glanced at the stairs, thinking of Tor and Brog, the fey who’d stayed with me before Tor.
“I don’t want to take advantage of their generosity.”
“Oh, you’re not. Trust me. Tor told me all about the friendship Adam extended within minutes of meeting him. It made his day. The other fey in your group, too. Like I said, most of us have a freak out period.”
“Adam and I saw the fey come into the barn before the infected attacked. There were two of them. One lifted a cow like it was no big deal. The other took a barn cat. They were scary-different, but the animals were fine with them.
“When they came back and cleared out the barn, protecting Ryan and following his lead, I figured they couldn’t be the killers Adam and I heard about. I understand that they were, but they aren’t anymore. Matt explained why the fey had that reputation. Fear is a powerful thing. I wonder what the fey’s welcome would have been like if that first shot hadn’t been fired.”
“I’d like to think it would have been better; but in reality, someone always fires the first shot. We are a people who shun uniqueness and seem to crave conflict on any level, even to the point that we argue about conflict itself. I understand why. We’re driven to stand up for our beliefs, whatever they may be.”
What she was saying resonated deeply with me. Adam’s beating had been retaliation for the trap, which had been due to the initial robbery.
“You look too young to have a degree in psychology.”
Emily grinned.
“I pay attention to people. Most everyone is too busy focusing on their own lives and their own beliefs to put them aside long enough to look around and see things objectively. Losing my sister kind of slapped me out of my own headspace, I think. I started questioning things. A lot of whys, you know?”