I sat on the floor and kept breathing with my eyes squeezed shut.
You’re having a panic attack. It will pass. You’re not dying even if it feels that way.
I rolled my shoulders and pictured my home with Luca, specifically the kitchen. I envisioned him chopping garlic, laughing, and smiling. My heartbeat slowed a touch. I focused on the way Luca’s brown eyes glowed in the sunlight. How the skin around his eyes crinkled when he smiled at me. The scene was so real, so vivid, my shoulders loosened. I imagined kissing the scar above his eye, the smell of his minty shampoo filling my nose.
With one last deep inhale and exhale, I opened my eyes. Adriana and Rosa softly spoke just through the doorway but were unaware of my episode on the other side of the wall. I had no idea how long I’d been sitting there, but both my feet were asleep.
Pins and needles traveled up my legs as I stood. I shook my feet as I blotted sweat from my forehead with the sleeve of my shirt, then ran my clammy palms down my thighs. The hallway had a mirror, so I double-checked that I didn’t look too rough before joining them back at the breakfast table.
“You okay?” Rosa frowned.
“Yep. I just had to make a quick call.” Flipping open the tablet cover, I smiled. “Let me show you what I was thinking for the color scheme.”
FIVE
Bodyguards aren’t nearly as interesting as books and movies lead you to believe. My protection was none other than Frankie Gambini, Luca’s cousin on his mother’s side, who was tatted to the extreme and dull as dirt.
That's not fair. I didn’t actually know if he was dull because he never spoke. Anything I said received one-word answers and no eye contact.
He was a blast.
“Look. I know you’re supposed to be my shadow, but can you wait out here while I duck in for my coffee?”
“No.” He held open the door and patiently waited for me to go inside.
“Fine. But know I’m not getting you that latte I know you love.”
He grunted. We both knew I was lying.
Frankie posted up at a corner table where he could keep an eye on the whole building while I slid up to the counter and ordered my mocha coffee monstrosity and his classic latte, taking special care to request one of Meghan’s latte art pieces.
Standing at the end of the counter, waiting for my order, I fussed with the sugar packets and cup sleeves, trying my best not to look at Frankie. It’s hard not to look at someone that is always watching you. While eye contact may not be his forte, I was always in his line of sight, so I always felt eyes on me. It reminded me of the time Luca and I spent apart.
“New side gig?”
My shoulders stiffened, and I finished straightening the last of the seasonal gift cards. “In this economy, it doesn’t hurt to hustle.”
Dimitri chuckled, leaning his hip against the counter next to me. “I see congratulations are in order.”
“Why don’t you sound happy for me?”
“Are you actually asking that?”
Narrowing my eyes, I said, “No. But you could at least pretend.”
Shaking his head, he locked eyes with something over my shoulder. “I see he’s got one of his goons following you.”
“There’s been some trouble. But I’m sure you’re well aware.”
Lowering his gaze from Frankie, he glared at me. “Oh, there’s been trouble, alright. One of my warehouses burned to the ground, and I lost a year’s worth of earnings. Not to mention priceless art that is forever gone from this world.”
“What?” I reached out and placed a hand on his arm. He tensed but didn’t move out of reach.
“Someone burned my warehouse to the ground a week after Adriana Moretti’s home went up in flames. Coincidence?”
“You think I know who did it?” I pulled my hand away, no longer wanting that tether to him or his accusations.
His face softened, and he took a step closer, trying to close the distance between us. I stepped back without even thinking. His jaw tensed, and he scoffed. “You’re scared of me now?”