Damien
What do you do when your life crashes around you?
Some people drink. Me, I drown myself in work.
I haven't heard from my mother, but that doesn't mean I don't have things to do. The day-to-day demands of my job never go away. Meetings, emails, phone calls—everyone needs something from me.
It’s relentless, but I’m done fighting for balance. I don't want to hear from my strategy team about the changes I'm pushing through—I can’t seem to bring myself to care. I tell Luis to stop protecting my calendar. “Schedule me in for every meeting you can.”
I try to keep my voice matter-of-fact, but Luis has known me for a very long time. “Are you okay, Damien?”
One way or the other, no matter what happens to my future at the Cardenas Group, I’m going to make sure Luis is taken care of. If he wants to stay, I’ll make sure he’s protected. If he wants out, I’ll arrange it. Loyalty is a rare thing, and Luis has it in spades.
“Yeah,” I lie. “I’m fine.”
I sit through the most mind-numbingly boring meetings imaginable. Anything to while away the hours. Anything to keep my mind off her. Anything to stop thinking about Sophia.
It doesn't work. For two weeks, I was given a glimpse of a future filled with possibilities. For two weeks, I cooked and ate good food. I swam in the lake every morning. I soaked in the hot tub. I didn't rush from one meeting to another; I stopped to smell the roses.
It was because of Sophia.
For two weeks, I had everything.
And it's been snatched away from me.
I should keep up the good habits, but it all feels meaningless. So I drink too much coffee, I work too hard, and I avoid Julian. He’s in pain too, and I can’t bear it. It’s too much of a reminder of my own heartache.
I tried to fight, and I failed. I tried to push for something better, and everything fell apart around me.
Xavier calls me one day. Is it a Monday? Wednesday? I've lost track of time. “I've been meaning to ask,” he says. “You've gone to the club a couple of times as my guest. You seem to be spending quite a lot of time in Highfield. Do you want to buy a membership?”
Xavier is worth billions. He doesn't give a fuck whether I buy a membership or not. I asked him to check if Sophia had been fired, and Xavier is as curious as a cat. This is his way of finding out what's going on with me.
“No,” I reply. “I don’t foresee any more trips to Club M in my future.”
“What happened with Sophia?”
“I don't know, Xavier,” I grit out. My frustration boils over, and I snap at my friend. “I don't know what happened, and I don't know why, but it's off. And there's nothing you can do about it. Please let it be.”
I clench my eyes shut as a fresh wave of grief washes over me. It’ll be okay, I tell myself. Time heals all wounds. This, too, will fade.
I wish I could believe it.