Oh, wow.
Julian comes downstairs just then. “You shouldn’t have let me sleep in,” he grumbles. “Good morning, Sophia.” He pours himself a cup of coffee and joins us at the dining table. “I didn’t mean to interrupt your conversation.”
“You didn’t,” Damien replies. “Sophia was telling me about her complicated childhood.” He gives Julian a sidelong glance. “A familiar topic for you.”
“It was Hannah who had a shitty childhood, not me.” He looks at me. “My parents favored me over my sister. It was not pleasant.”
That’s why renovating the greenhouse is so important. That’s why Julian is working flat out. He’s making amends.
Damien’s phone beeps. He glances at it and sighs. “I have to take a call in ten minutes,” he says. “Sophia, I’m so sorry—”
He has a meeting on Sunday morning. The poor guy. “That’s okay. I should head back home anyway.”
He puts his hand on top of mine. “In case there’s any doubt about it, I want to see you again.” He glances at Julian. “We both do.”
Ten years. I can’t help feeling like I wasted so much time. I’m determined not to let it happen again. “I want to see you too.”
“Have dinner with us on Wednesday?” Julian asks.
I pull out my phone and open my calendar. My only appointment Wednesday is with Dr. Hernandez to discuss the results of my fertility tests.
Fuck. I forgot all about that.
This doesn’t feel like a fling. This feels real.
Is it, though? Damien is leaving in three weeks. Julian wants to sell his house as soon as he can. And you’re thirty-five. Can you take a chance on a new relationship, knowing that with each passing day, your odds of having a baby get lower? Can you afford to wait?
I should tell them about my sperm donor plans, but I find myself hesitating. It's very early days. I don’t even know if this is a relationship. We haven’t talked about exclusivity. We’ve had one night together, that’s all.
I can’t throw this at them. It’s too soon. What would that conversation be like? I need to know if you’re serious because I want a baby. Hell, no. If I lead with that, all I’ll accomplish is chasing them off.
“Yeah, I can do that.”
Will this blow up in my face? Maybe. But I can’t cancel my appointment. I can’t afford the risk. I refuse to let one night of glorious sex alter my life plans.