She’d done her best to do the right thing, just as her grandfather had always told her she should. And she’d trust nothing less than love, just as her grandfather had told her. He’d loved her grandmother for every minute of her short life, just as her parents had loved each other. Her grandfather had shown her that there was nothing more important than love in everything he did, everything he’d said.
So, she’d walked away from Zavian, and made sure he couldn’t follow. She’d been outwitted then, but she’d make sure she wasn’t outwitted now because she refused to compromise on this one point. She knew what happened to couples without love. Zavian’s parents were examples of that.
She’d thought he’d brought her here to punish her for leaving him, by rekindling their passion only for him to discard her. Given how angry he’d been, retribution was the only thing she could imagine. After all, it was something his father had been expert at.
And maybe he had at first, but now he wanted her back. But how could she stay when he didn’t love her? If the walls around his heart were so strong that they refused to feel, what if circumstances dictated she should no longer be with him? What if people turned against her and wanted her gone? Without love, she was disposable. And she refused to be that. She was worth more than that. Her parents’ and grandparents’ love for each other had shown her that, and her grandfather’s constant love and advice had driven the point home.
She suddenly felt incredibly tired. Drained. Exhausted. All she wanted was to curl up and stop thinking, stop feeling. She took a deep breath of the scented, familiar air—air that had surrounded her growing up—and let it infiltrate her body, sending a soothing calm to her frayed nerves. She succumbed to temptation and lay down. Within seconds she was asleep.
Zavian clunkedhis door shut firmly, and looked up at the house where he’d fallen in love with Gabrielle. Of course, then, he hadn’t admitted it. It was only now that he could, and he saw it through different eyes. The building’s traditional facade, the smell of the dry desert air edged with perfumes coming from the abundant garden, took him back immediately to those days when they’d first discovered each other. The sights and sounds by-passed his mind—the place where he’d lived his life—and went straight to the place he’d spent his whole life denying, until now—his heart.
He rubbed his chest with the heel of his hand to try to rid it of the ache, which was growing as he realized he might have missed Gabrielle and lost her. Time was running out. He looked with increasing desperation around the building. No lights were on. For a moment, Zavian wondered if he’d been correct about her destination. Then he shone the light from his phone around the courtyard, and it caught the gleam of a vehicle parked in front of the stables. He went over to it. It was hers all right. But where was she? He gave the stables a cursory look, but there was no sign of her there, nor in the vehicle. And there were no lights on in the house.
Then he heard it—the sound of a nocturnal bird in the gardens. He huffed a relieved sigh. Of course. She’d always loved those gardens. He pushed open the gate and walked around the perimeter of the gardens, checking each arbor carefully before moving on. The outside path wound in like a snail’s shell, moving ever closer to its central feature—the fountain.
He stopped as soon as he saw her. She was curled up along the bench, her head propped on her arm, facing the fountain as if she’d found peace there before her eyes had fluttered closed. Under the moonlight, he could see her features were relaxed, but there was a glistening smudge beneath her eyes, and her abaya against which her cheek pressed was dark with tears.
His immediate urge was to go to her, to pull her into his arms and hold her until the hurt went away. But he now knew, because of her, that he couldn’t erase the pain. It was beyond his ability to control people, to change people, to make the pain go away, or to bring happiness. All he could do was be here for her, to try to help her if she wanted help, and ask her to stay. And to do that, he had to control himself, not anyone else. He drew in a deep breath and flexed his hands and stepped forward.
The splashof water had lulled her to sleep, and that same sense of peace filled her as she awoke. Gabrielle didn’t open her eyes immediately. The voice in her head was as calming as the water which flowed from the broken fountain across the once magnificent paved areas to the lush garden. Then she heard it again—her name. And it wasn’t in her dreams any longer.
She opened her eyes with a start as she tried to figure out where she was, and more importantly, who she was with.
The moon was higher now and, together with the stars, they gifted the landscape—the leaves, the water, the stone—with a silver mystery.
“Gabrielle?” His voice was soft but unmistakable.
She jumped up with a cry. “Zavian! What are you doing here?”
He didn’t move, simply sat there, looking up at her, making no move to come to her. She pressed her hand against her heart. “You startled me. I thought I was alone.”
“I’m sorry to surprise you, but you know we couldn’t leave it like that.”
She stepped away from him, not knowing what he was here for, unsure of what was to come. “You’re wrong. Wehaveto leave it like that.”
He reached out for her hand, and she couldn’t do anything but accept it. He slid his fingers through hers and gripped it like a lifeline.
“I’m so sorry for everything that has happened.”
“You’ve come here to apologize?”
“Amongst other things, yes. I tried to buy you, Gabrielle.” He shook his head. “Even as I say those words, it sounds crazy. I can hardly believe that is what I did.”
“Crazy is an understatement.”
“And I know you’re angry with me, rightly so. But I’m a different person now. You’ve made me that different person.”
“Not too different, I hope,” she said, with a faint smile.
“I love you, Gabrielle. And I cannot live without you.”
Her eyes filled with tears to hear the words she’d waited so long to hear, to believe the prayer he’d offered her. Her mind stilled, and her speech froze. The silence between them was broken only by the rustle of leaves that had grown above the protection of the wall, and the murmur of the water as it flowed across the weed-clogged rills.
“Gabrielle…” His words sounded as if they’d been wrenched from him. “Speak to me.”
She gasped in a breath, refusing to believe his words. She had to take them at face value. She couldn’t risk doing anything else. “You’re just saying the words you know I want to hear.”
He shook his head. “No. Not anymore. Gabrielle, I can’t speak without feeling now.”