As she brought her glass to his, he tapped them together.
He leaned in close to her. “And, you never know, I may persuade you to enjoy yourself.”
She found herself smiling, despite her best intentions. “I’m not sure I would know even if I was.” The words had tumbled out before her brain could filter them. And, as she saw his brow crease, she instantly regretted speaking without thinking. She had revealed something of herself.
With careful deliberation Xander pushed his empty glass onto the bar, and sat up straight, his arms lightly folded as he considered her. “Tell me, Ela, what happened to you to make you not understand enjoyment, to make you so scared to let go?”
She bit her lip and placed her glass back on the counter. She shot him a brief tight smile. “I think I’d better be calling it a night.”
“And confirm my thoughts? That you are backing off because you’re scared?”
In her best imperious voice she said, “I am tired, Xander, that is all.” She would have been able to leave if he hadn’t reached out and touched her hand. Just as before, it halted every thought, and stimulated every feeling, and there was nothing she could do.
“Ela, I don’t know what happened to you, but you are queen now, you have total power, and no one can take that away from you. I am no threat to you, I can only help you, so why not stay, and talk? You might find you feel a little better.”
All she could do was to look down at his hand and the thumb which caressed the back of hers. How could a simple caress create such havoc in every part of her body? She didn’t dare look into his eyes, because then he would see her fear—naked and ugly. She swallowed. And then, from the depths of her, she summoned up the courage to meet his gaze. The smile was wiped from his face at what he saw.
“As you may know, my parents divorced and my mother died shortly afterwards.”
Xander nodded. “I had heard.”
“But what you might not know, Xander, is that my parents were opposite. My mother wanted fun. She enjoyed shopping, parties and…” She hesitated. “Over-indulging with alcohol… and other things. My father was traditional and did not approve.” It was a mild description of how her father felt but she didn’t care to elaborate. “He told me to watch and learn. And I did. I learned two things. My mother’s rejection was absolute. As was her isolation. She wasn’t allowed near me or my sister.” She sucked in a deep breath. “She died alone…Not long after.” She nearly stumbled but forced herself to continue, to admit the truth to Xander. “Accidental overdose was the verdict. It was hushed up of course. My father taught me well. There is no room in life for weakness, no room for error, especially if you rule a country, especially for a woman. That was the first thing I learned.”
His grip tightened around her hands. He put his other hand on hers and squeezed it gently. “Hence no alcohol, hence a rigid control over yourself.”
She shrugged. “I am who I am. Just as you are who you are. I don’t think about the whys and wherefores. I am just me.”
He brought their joined fists to his lips and kissed her fingertips, before releasing her hand. “And just you is enough. Ilikejust you.”
The tight wad she kept inside herself throbbed as if about to explode. She didn’t even realize it was there anymore. The throbbing rose to her head and her temples. She rose and, uncharacteristically, rubbed her fingers across the forehead and stepped away. “I have to go now.”
“Are you sure?” he asked. “Why not stay and we can discover more about each other?”
There was something in the way he said that which made her pause. For the first time since her confession she looked him straight in the eye and she didn’t like what she saw there. It looked as if he’d won.
“You’ve got what you wanted, haven’t you?” She cocked her head to one side as she thought things through. “That was what Roshan suggested wasn’t it? Flirt with me, break me down. What is that Chinese proverb? Know your enemy?”
At least Xander had the grace not to lie outright. “Come on, Ela. It’s not like that.”
“Then what is it like? Do tell me, because I’m curious to know.” He shrugged, and she knew she was correct. She shook her head. “I’m leaving.”
“Stay, please. Besides we haven’t finished our conversation. You didn’t tell me the second thing you learned.”
It took her a minute to figure out what he was referring to. “Ah, yes. The first was no alcohol and complete restraint, and the second? That’s easy. The second is to never trust a man.”
He frowned. “You can’t believe that. We’re not all the same, Ela.”
“Don’t call me Ela.”
“Why not? It’s your name.”
“My mother called me Ela,” she said, through a husky, barely controlled voice. “And I’mnotthat girl.Thatgirl,Ela, died the day my mother left, forced away by my father, never to return. There is no Ela. My name is Elaheh. And if you, or Roshan, believe you can break me in order to control me, then you’ve both got another think coming.”
She left the bar without a backward glance. But she wasn’t the same person. Something had broken a little inside her when Xander had held her hand. Something that she hadn’t even known she’d been forcing herself to hold together. But it had been there—tight inside of herself, curled up and made solid. And Xander had loosened it. It was chaos. It was fear. It was everything she didn’t want. And she hated Xander for it.
Chapter 3
The next morning Elaheh rose before Xander. She was at work in the board room with her ministers around her. There would be no more tête-à-têtes, no more opportunities for Xander to try to break her. He might call it understanding her, but she knew the truth. He was only interested in one thing and that was nailing a deal which would benefit his country. And he was obviously prepared to soften her up in order to do it. She’d been weak yesterday; she didn’t intend to be weak again.