THELODGELOOKEDstunning in the winter sun but Roman couldn’t appreciate it. Maybe he should have messaged first but what he wanted to say had to be said to her face. He went straight inside and up to the private wing. But she wasn’t in the lounge, nor the bedroom. He went back down and into the kitchen but it was empty.
He finally found her in the reception room. She was in jeans and a soft jersey, and she was leaning close to the main Christmas tree to take off an ornament. There was a strand of silver tinsel around her shoulders and a large open box at her feet. She had her headphones on and he realised she hadn’t heard him come in. It was Bruce who gave him away. The cat crept out from under the tree and yowled at him.
‘What is it, boy?’ Violet turned and saw Roman. Her eyes widened and she pulled the headphones off with her free hand.
All the words he’d mentally prepared evaporated at the sheer relief she was there. ‘I’m glad you’re here,’ he muttered.
‘Of course, I said I would stay.’ She set down the ornament and her headphones. ‘And you’ve come back.’ She shot him a look. ‘You didn’t say you’d do that.’
‘I didn’t say a lot of things.’ His throat tightened.
Seeing her again made all his emotion rise. He’d missed her even more than he’d realised. He didn’t want to be apart from her.Neveragain. The fear of losing her—having failed her once already—hit in a colossal wave. He couldn’t say anything again.
‘Did it go okay?’ she asked.
He read the concern in her eyes—that calm caring, even though he’d hurt her. But her concern wasn’t enough. It wasn’t all that he wanted. He had to do better.
‘Fine.’ But he was literally unable to say more. All the words clogged his throat and, in his silence, she shrank a little.
‘I’ve made a plan,’ she said, because he left it too long. She glanced away, building a wall he didn’t want. ‘I like it here. I want to stay here. I like the view, the mountains, the snow.’
He swallowed, distracted. ‘I thought you wanted to enjoy big city life.’
‘If I live here, I can be near enough to you to balance childcare needs, but have space as well.’
She wanted space from him.
‘I’d like to work. Linda and Dennis are looking forward to retirement. Linda can train me.’
‘To look after the lodge?’
‘Why not?’ Her chin lifted. ‘We can open it up more. I’m good with people. I could manage this place easily.’
Admiration filled him. She had courage and strength and she wasn’t going to give up. Ever. She would make her plans and push forward.
‘I’m sure you could.’ He stepped towards her. ‘But what if I don’t want you to do that?’
Her focus darted away from him—seeking escape again. ‘Then I’ll get a job in the village. I know it might be a little messy for me to be your employee, but I had thought you could get over that.’ Reproach filled her tone.
He had to take a steadying breath before he could explain. ‘I meant if I don’t want you to live so far away fromme.’ He never wanted to be far from her—never again. These few days had been too long. ‘What if I don’t want that?’
Her lips trembled and she pressed them together tightly. ‘You won’t miss out on time with the baby. You can be here as often as you want and you know it. You can work from here if you have to. But you like Manhattan. You like your hotel suite. You like your life there.’
He hated it now. He hated the soulless style and the deafening silence. ‘You wanted to travel.’
‘I still can. Maybe at some weekends, when you’re in charge of the baby. Or I’ll take her with me on adventures.’ She glared at him them, daring him to deny her.
He couldn’t. ‘And your family in New Zealand?’
‘I’ll visit them. They can visit me. But I’ll live here most of the time.’ She nodded as if it was all perfectly reasonable, like it was a good solution.
She really had it all planned out. He didn’t know whether he was impressed or outraged. Either way, the blood was beating back around his body and his brain was coming back online. ‘What about your personal life?’
She hesitated. ‘I’m going to be busy with the baby. Adjusting to life here. I’m not going to have time for...’
He waited but she didn’t continue and he walked towards her. He couldn’t stop himself now. The colour in her cheeks deepened with every step he took, and honestly it was the only thing that gave him any hope.
‘No time for anything intimate?’ he pressed.