‘But these last few nights you have.’ She slid out of bed and quickly pulled on her clothes. ‘What happens in the dreams?’
He didn’t answer for a long while and when he did it was so soft she had to stand still to hear him.
‘I can’t call out. Can’t move. I’m stuck and silent but inside I’m screaming. No one hears me. No one helps.’
He abruptly stood and pushed the button to open the curtains fully. Violet moved to stand beside him.
‘I wish I could help,’ she said wistfully. ‘But you know I can barely handle my own issues...’
To her relief, he suddenly smiled. She smiled back and linked her fingers through his to let him know she didn’t really mean to leave him alone. ‘I guess this...situation...is stressful, huh? Makes all the old worries come alive,’ she said. ‘Even the ones we thought were gone for good.’
He looked down at her and returned her grip with a tighter one of his own. ‘What are your worries?’
‘All of them. I have all of them. I’m a big chicken.’
‘Not the first adjective I’d pick for you.’
‘I thought I was brave. I thought I was ready to take on the world. But I hear the voice in my head the whole time:Don’t take the risk...you shouldn’t...be careful...now look what you’ve done...All the possible bad things flash through my mind. Never the possible best things. I try to ignore and push past. But it’s hard.’
‘I think you’re being a bit hard on yourself. You’re here—doing all these things. It might be scary but you’re doing it anyway. Even coping with me.’ He turned, lifting his free hand, and brushed back her hair. ‘Maybe this babyisthe best thing.’
Her eyes suddenly filled. ‘That’s definitely the best thing. But it’s also very complicated.’
‘Life is.’
‘Yeah. To tell you the truth, I’ve never been in a helicopter.’
‘Really? Well, I’m glad I can provide you with another first-time experience,’ he teased.
‘Are you saying this is going to be as good as that?’
‘Not quite as good. But, still, perhaps a thrill.’
‘Okay.’ She gazed at him. ‘I trust you.’
He looked at her and then back to the helicopter. ‘Right. Then let’s do this, okay?’
The helicopter wasn’t anything like Violet had imagined. They had a compartment in the back that was plush andquiet. And the views from the windows were incredible.
‘Where are we going?’ She couldn’t stop staring at the scenery.
‘We have a lodge in the mountains.’
We.
While she felt exhilarated as the helicopter flew towards the enormous mountain range, Roman looked a little pale.
‘Are you okay?’ she asked.
‘I needed to get off the train for Christmas Eve.’
‘Oh?’ she suddenly teased. ‘Did you want to make sure Santa knows exactly where to find you?’
His eyes widened and a small smile broke his tension. ‘I forget you don’t know.’ He shook his head. ‘No. The accident was on Christmas Eve.’
‘Oh,Roman.’ She felt terrible for her silly joke. ‘I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean—’
‘I know.’ He squeezed her hand. ‘I like that you make me laugh even when I’m...’