She was pregnant with his child. He raged against the idea but at the same time he felt possessiveness like nothing he’d ever known. The knife-like need to draw her close and keep her by his side shocked him. He breathed, determined to work this through rationally. People had children all the time, there was no need to feel this instant terror.
But most people didn’t have the assets he had. This child would be the heir to a fortune. This child would be a target. So would Violet. Roman knew all about fortune-hunters and fraudsters. He knew first-hand the lengths people could go to deceive if they thought there was serious money in it. They didn’t just lie, they did almost anything—like the woman who’d disguised her daughter to trick him into thinking she was his lost sister. She’d gone to such insane lengths...
He took another slow breath and pushed away the memory. First up, he had to ensure the baby was even his. His immediate reaction had been to claim it, and even now his gut instinct curdled at the thought the child mightnotbe his. But his instincts couldn’t be trusted.
Evidence was essential—again, something he’d learned through bitter experience. In his search for Eloise—in the desperate depths of his determination to find her—he’d been fooled almost completely. He’d been blind because it was what he’d wanted more than anything. He’d had such hope. Such futile, stupid, naïve hope.
And part of him deep inside wanted this to be true with Violet now. To believe her baby was his. In his bones, he did. But she was right. He’d used protection. He was always careful. So it shouldn’t have happened. He had to becertainof everything. It wasn’t that he couldn’t trust her, he couldn’t trust himself. He’d been so wrong before. It wasn’t happening this time.
But he also knew about loss and he was never going to have anything of his taken away again. Nor anyone. That was the overriding instinct now. The old wound ripped open and deep inside his chest the ache seeped, leaking acidic guilt. He never should have taken Violet back to the hotel that night. Once again, he’d failed someone innocent with his selfish desires. He’d let her down.
The uncertainty in her eyes—the very real distress when she’d mentioned her treatment—deepened his guilt. Violet needed care. He would ensure she got it. Thiswasall on him. But there were only a few short days until Christmas and many people were already on holiday. He’d liaise via phone and learn what information he could. This train provided the perfect place for them to finalise a personal plan. There was no one to interrupt them, no press, only absolute privacy.
Good. Because he couldn’t fail again. Not himself. Not her. Certainly, never their child.
‘Stay on board with me,’ he said huskily.
Her faced turned pink, then pale. She wriggled to get off his lap and this time he let her go.
‘I’m not sleeping with you.’ She walked away from him.
A fireball burst in his belly at the challenge she’d just thrown. He’d felt her breathing. He’d seen the stark hunger in her eyes only moments ago. It was no surprisethiswas the first thing she’d thought of. And it brought him immense pleasure that it was top of the mind for her. It was for him too.
But he drew breath and replied coolly, ‘Have I asked you to?’
‘I can’t stay in the staff compartment now, not now they’ll all know that test result. And the other guest compartments are full.’
He tensed, realising she was right about the remainder of the train staff knowing. He’d need to deal with that. ‘As I said, you’re going to stay on board withme.’
‘In this compartment?’ Her eyes widened. ‘Haven’t you noticed there’s onlyonebed?’
‘You’re not that big and that bed is fairly large,’ he said lightly. ‘I’m confident we can manage.’
But her eyes were telling him the opposite. The rise of colour in her cheeks added emphasis. She was remembering moments of their night together. So was he.
‘I don’t...’
‘What are you going to do, run away?’ he asked. ‘What’s the point? I’ll only follow. We need to face this together, so why not work it through here and now? You have all your things with you for the journey. So do I. It is the simplest solution for us to stay here.’
‘It’s embarrassing. I was supposed to work with those people.’
She was concerned about what others thought of her, about them knowing her condition. Roman didn’t give a damn about what anyone thought of him but his status meant there’d be a hell of a lot of speculation about her and this situation. Which meant he needed to act to protect her—physically and emotionally.
‘You don’t have to leave this compartment at all if you don’t want to,’ he said. ‘We’ll have all our meals delivered. That was my intention anyway.’
‘You were going tohideon board for Christmas?’ She stared at him.
He wasn’t hiding. It was practical. Privacy was one of the greatest pleasures and not always easily achieved.
‘You don’t want to mix with other passengers?’ she added.
‘The other passengers won’t even be aware I’m on board. That is why I am here so early now.’
She gaped.
He shrugged. ‘I have reports to write.’
‘You’re writing reports for Christmas.’