“Why do you think I’m wearing this? I can’t trust myself around you. You’re all I can think about.” Shaking her head at her admission, she held her body rigid, as if trying to prove those words weren’t true.
I growled, biting on the lobe of her ear before twisting her face up to mine. “You still haven’t told me.”
“Yes, fine, it’s all for you,” she laughed bitterly. “I wanted something to remember you by, so I thought I’d have a tattoo and torment myself daily for the rest of my life because I had you for a moment, but then you vanished, just like a shooting star.”
I swallowed down the emotion in my throat, pulling her harder to me, making us both groan with need.
“Matt, please. I can’t do this. I can’t be the other woman. I’m worth more. Your wife is worth more.” I hated hearing the sadness in her voice and not being able to spit out the words I needed to say. I had the power to fix this, but I just couldn’t seem to explain what had happened to Emma and Alfie. Casual words just didn’t seem enough to explain how much I loved them and what they’d meant to me.
“I want to explain. Please, we need to talk. I want to tell you everything.”
“It won’t change anything. I don’t trust you. You lied to me for all these years, and I didn’t suspect a thing. How can I ever trust you again?”
“Rogue, you have to trust me. I don’t know how to not be around you. This is killing me.”
She peeled my hands from her body and turned to face me. Pressing her chest against mine, she stroked her hand over my cheek.
“And me, but it’s done, Matt. Even if you want to tell me you’re separated or she doesn’t understand you or some other bullshit, you’ve had years to tell me. If you’d ever given me the slightest hint, I might be able to understand, but you didn’t. Nothing. That hurts. I laid myself out for you and you didn’t share a thing about yourself, Matt. That’s why I can’t forgive you.”
“I love you,” my voice shook as I offered her the only sentence that made any sense right now.
“And I love you. I don’t think I will ever feel this way about anyone else. You’re pretty special, grumpy bear.”
“Grumpy bear?”
“New nickname. It’s what you look like these days. Have you given up shaving?”
She tilted her head, taking me in before she placed a kiss on my cheek that made my heart crumble to dust because I felt the finality of it.
“Rogue, please,” I begged, grabbing her hand as she turned to walk back to the elevator. “Can we talk? Give me half an hour tonight. If I explain and you’re still not willing to do this, then I'll walk away.”
As she opened her mouth to answer, my phone rang. Recognizing the ringtone as the one I saved for Thomas Lanton, I answered quickly.
“Thomas... What? Is she okay? No, I can go now and take a look. Text me where I’m going and I will give you a call once I’ve checked it out… No, I’ll deal with it all. Let me just see the state of it first.”
Frankie stared at me wide-eyed as I hung up the phone.
“It’s Emmy. Someone broke into her flat. I need to go and work out if it’s related to the band… to Tanner’s stalker. Fuck, I don’t know how much more of this I can take. I don’t remember the last time I slept properly unless you were by my side.”
“Come on grumpy bear, one quick hug for old time’s sake.”
I didn’t wait to be asked twice, wrapping my arms around her and pressing my hands over her tattoo while she pulled my forehead to hers, running her fingers over the back of my head. I could have stayed like that for a lifetime, my heart feeling like it was beating normally for the first time since she’d asked me if I was married. But instead, it only lasted seconds before I had to step away from her so I could go and check on Emmy.
Chapter 17
Frankie
“Hey,Frankie,youlookbeautiful.”
I looked up to find Emmy standing in front of me wearing some of Tanner’s clothes after her apartment was trashed. We’d all gone there after Thomas called Matt.
Emmy had left us all in LA all those months ago, running from Tanner in the middle of the night without even a goodbye, and we’d not seen her again until yesterday.
While we were all hurt, we knew she thought Tanner had cheated on her and their relationship had been strained for a while, so we understood. Last night, she needed us and we were there for her.
Her apartment had been destroyed, along with all her clothes. Even her pet tortoise had gone missing, although what she didn’t know was Matt had found it and we were just waiting to have a new enclosure delivered before we surprised her. We loved her like family, and she’d helped put the band back together, even when I thought we were beyond fixing. Now it was our turn to help her get her life back on track, whether she could heal things with Tanner or not.
“Thanks, Ems. It’s so good to have you back with us. It wasn’t the same after you left.”