I nodded. “Very much so. You look great.”
“Thanks, so do you.” His eyes raked over my body.
“She’s married, bro, knock it off.” Eric clapped his brother on the back andset the box of pastries on the island, opening it to show off the wonderful goodies inside.
“Isn’t Mona great? Bought out Sylvia’s bakery.” My sister smiled and reached for a chocolate turnover at the same time as I did.
Cocking my eyebrow in her directionthat at least we still had a few things in common, I had a bite and listened to the others share their stories and laughter, most of which were holiday focused. Conversations revolved around Christmas plans and the general excitement for the impending nuptials tomorrow.
Eric and Lily had set the wedding time for 4pm to say their vows, with a buffet supper to follow, giving the tightly knit group of people time to celebrate the day with family. And all this time I had thought she didn’t care for the festivities.
“How many are coming?” I imagined the guest list wasn’t too big. It was a beach wedding on Christmas Day, after all.
She pulled out a paper from a folder, one with the full run down on the caterers and rentals and timings for everything. I’ll give credit where credit was due, she was uber organized. My wedding day, I was frantic with worry about all the things that could go wrong but with her own wedding, Lily was ready to shrug them off. I envied that ease.
She tapped the list.“With Jesse now coming, thirty-three.”
“Jesse’s coming?” Cedar asked. “That’s great. Maybe he’ll meet someone tomorrow, then he won’t be so lonely.”
Mitch laughedand whipped a cinnamon bun out of the box. “As in meet someone who he doesn’t already know?”
“Well, it could happen. Christmas miraclesand all that.” Cedar took a nibble from a muffin. “I’m glad he’s coming. He’s such a great guy.”
I nodded, trying to contain a smile as I couldn’t disagree with her. “I’m staying at his place while our old house gets repaired, and Lily thought it would be a nice thank you to invite him.”
Cedar faced Lily. “What’s wrong with the house?”
“Broken furnace.”
“You should’ve told me. Mona could’ve stayed withus. We have an extra room.”
I licked my lips, enjoying the heavenly taste of fine chocolate.Somehow, with twins, I suspected there would be even less room at her place than there was at my sister’s.
She dismissed the conversation with a waveas the baby in her arms began to wail. “Excuse me, I think she’s hungry.”
Without a care in the world, she walkedover to the couch and lifted her top, nursing her baby as if no one were around.
Landon turned his head away and started making small talk with his brother.
Beth made her way over and sat beside Cedar, askingfar too many personal questions about the breastfeeding process. She ended with how excited she was to be trying for baby after her upcoming spring wedding.
I was surrounded by babies and happiness, and while I was thrilled for everyone, the green-eyed monsterwas rearing its ugly head. They all had what I wanted, and it was really hard to not be jealous because it was no longer in the cards for me. No husband, and thanks to an inhospitable uterus, blocked tubes, and the malfunctioning ovaries of a fifty-year woman, not the thirty-three I was, there’d never be any baby either.
The only thingkeeping my tongue at bay was the constant biting of it and thinking about all Jesse and I had shared yesterday.
After ourhonest conversation last evening, a burden had been lifted from my soul that I couldn't explain. When I woke up this morning, I felt a little happier and although it was Christmas Eve, the lingering sadness had softened a touch. Deep down I knew it was because I had opened up and shared with Jesse, and that in itself was a blessing. There was an unexplainable connection to him, an easiness and naturalness.
Jesse said when my time was done with Lily and Eric to come back to the house and we would go out and enjoysome worry-free, Cheshire Bay excitement. When prompted to explain what he had planned, Jesse said it was a surprise. Then he added it would be something fun and hopefully something that would give me a reason to look back on Christmas Eve with a smile rather than sadness.
Until that time came, my focus was around the revolving conversations about the wedding. It was clear Lily and Eric had planned for everything. Based on all the prep and ideas and vision Lily had for her dream day, it sounded like the most beautifully detailed and perfect wedding, and I was ecstatic how she’d chosen the strip of beach where she’d spend her summers, rather than the standard church, like I had.
More talk about the wedding,and the more I pictured my own second wedding, perhaps someday, maybe. My wedding to Charlie had been a big, big deal. We booked the biggest church in town and filled it with over 250 guests. We rented the largest ballroom downtown and had the best caterers. Our wedding cake was four tiers tall with stairs off to the side, landing on another layer of cake. I suppose in hindsight, the massive production was completely unnecessary. If I had to do it over again, I would do exactly what Lily was doing— a beach wedding was absolutely perfect, and truly, it suited her.
The box of pastries disappeared, the coffee pot had been refilled twice,but everyone was confident in their roles in the wedding. Basically, all we had to do was show up and smile. Everything else would ebb and flow like the waves on the beach.
As Eric put it, “Just enjoy the show.”
There wasn’t anythingelse to do really. Beth was the Maid of Honour and Mitch the Best Man, and they’d need to sign a couple of things, but other than that, it was planned to be a stress-free day. Definitely a different way to spend the holiday, but maybe that would be okay too.