“Youwerein there, Sawyer!”
“Not fucking another girl, Maddie.” Losing the battle, my tone rises to match hers. “After everything we shared that week how could you believefor a secondI’d do that? Do you really think that little of me?”
“It was one week, I didn’t know you, not really.” Maddie throws herself back on the couch. “It’s stupid, we didn’t owe each other anything.”
“I came out of that room and you were gone.” I shake my head and lean my elbows on my knees, looking at the hardwood floor. “All I wanted was to come out of that room and sweep you off your feet and show you everything we could be together, and you just left like our week meant nothing.” My head turns to Maddie, her confusion written all over her face. “Which I guess it didn’t.”
Hurt flashes over Maddie’s features, her words coming out choked. “It meant everything.”
“Then how could you walk away like that? How could you believe even for a second that I saw anyone else but you?”
“The data…” she trails off and looks away. “It was the only thing that made sense.”
“Do you know what that girl was talking to me about?” Maddie shakes her head. “She was asking me about Jonah.”
Maddie’s eyes grow wide, then her head falls into her palms. “Oh, no.”
“I got stuck inside because I didn’t want to interrupt. Do you know how much coaxing went into getting Jonah to even approach her?”
“I’m sorry.”
“It was the only thing in the world that could have kept me from you.” I sit back up and lean back, hand rubbing over my stomach, the feeling of betrayal fresh as if the entire thing happened yesterday rather than a year ago. “I was really into you, Maddie. A make-you-breakfast-in-bed level of into you.”
Maddie looks up at me, none of the sassy pushback I’m used to in her gaze. Just regret and something that looks a lot like pain.
“I’m so sorry for jumping to conclusions like that.”
“How could you believe for a second that I’d do that to you?” I place my arm on the back of the couch, as close to her as I can without touching her, though I desperately want to.
“The evidence…” she starts, but I cut her off with a shake of my head.
“Don’t, that’s a weak excuse.” I turn to fully face her, make sure she knows she’s not getting away without a real answer. “If logic was your main driving force, you would have confronted me, collected all the data before making a choice. You ran without even giving me the benefit of the doubt.”
“I’m sorry,” she says again, tears welling in her eyes.
“I’m not your uncle.” Her breath turns shuddery, lip quivering at my words. “You put him on a pedestal despite everything he did, but I know he broke your trust. I am not like him, Maddie.”
“I guess I’m see-through as well.” She laughs softly, but it comes out shaky. “I’m a terrible person.”
“No, just not as perfect as you’d like the rest of us to believe.”
“Do you forgive me?” she asks, vulnerability seeping into her eyes and voice.
“For being imperfect?”
“For being an asshole.” She playfully smacks my hand before resting it over my wrist, sliding her thumb under my sleeve to lightly rub over my pulse. “For ruining what we could have had.”
“It isn’t all on you.” Maddie crumples her nose in confusion. “I could have followed you to the hotel and set the record straight right away.”
The way Maddie’s eyes streak with a deep velvety tone indicates I’m not the only one wondering what-if, thinking of how easy it would be to pick up where we stopped a year ago.
“Why didn’t you?”
“I watched my mom write herself off her entire life for my dad.” There’s a turmoil of self-scolding and new possibilities swirling in my head. Everything I never believed was real, everything I hoped was. “I figured that coming after you meant chasing after someone who clearly doesn’t want me, and I refuse to be like her.”
“I should have given you the benefit of the doubt,” she says again. “It’smostlymy fault.”
“Mostly, huh?” I laugh, squeezing her hand before taking her mug and going to clear out the table. “I’m glad we put it all behind us, Maddie.”