The uneasiness I felt earlier transforms into something unpleasant. My stomach feels cramped, almost pained, and the weight that settles into my chest becomes even heavier than it was before.
Iwoke up with the worst feeling in the pit of my stomach.
I have anxiety and it’s normal for me to feel anxious when I wake, especially with what’s happening today. But this isn’tjustanxiety--this is something else.
Something almost like a cautionary warning from the universe.
I’ve had a bad feeling since Noah told me weeks ago that he was going to attend Penelope’s arraignment.
I brushed it aside as apprehension, the fear of deviating from our norm.
But today that feeling intensified.
Noah felt it too. The look in his eyes when he walked out the door, his hand halting on the doorknob as he gazed back at me, showed how troubled he is.
But, of course, he had to leave.
My husband is my fiercest protector. His instinct may be to not leave us but his desire to end this once and for all outweighed everything else. He needed to see this to the end.
Besides, we weren’t unprotected.
Mina is here. And I know there are agents posted within the vicinity to ensure our safety.
There is no reason for me to be afraid.
My father is dead.
CJ is dead.
Aunt Patricia is in a correctional facility.
Penelope is at the courthouse.
Anyone who could ever hurt me is indisposed.
I am safe.
I think.
* * *
By noon,the feeling doesn’t pass. If anything, it gets worse.
After two hours of complete radio silence from the men, Mina has started pacing the room, checking the doors and windows every so often.
She’s on the phone with a fellow agent I’m assuming is outside, given she just ordered a perimeter check.
Another rush of anxiety sweeps through me and I’m filled with the need to prepare for a worst case scenario. I pick up Adrian from his playpen in the living room and head back to my room. I feel Mina’s presence behind me and I know she’s following me to keep an eye on us. But she stays just outside the room, in the hallway, her phone still pressed to her ear.
I settle my son on the bed with a few toys before heading straight into the closet and grabbing a bag. I start filling it with Adrian’s necessities in case we need to get out of here.
Mina watches me out of the corner of her eye, and she gives me a thumbs up, which just spurs me into a further state of panic. My gaze drifts to the lockbox in the corner of the closet where my Glock and Noah’s spare service gun are stored. I get down on my knees under the pretense of grabbing some of Adrian’s blankets, shifting slightly so all Mina can see is the lower part of my body. I make quick work of opening the safe, grabbing my gun and making sure it’s loaded. I check to see if the safety is on before stashing it into a stack of blankets and stuffing that into the bag I just packed.
I toss the bag on the floor next to the bed and sit next to my son, returning the cheeky smile he offers me. I kiss the top of his head, hoping that helps calm the rising panic inside me. I shoot another glance over at Mina who is now staring down at her phone with frustration, her lower lip stuck between her teeth.
I take that moment to jump back to my feet, taking the duffel bag with me and head over to the dresser where I store Adrian’s stuff, including his diaper bag. I open the drawers, grabbing a few extra diapers, his milk, and bottles before I spot what I’m looking for.
My gun holster sits at the back end of the drawer.