She was always a mirage to me. The lonely girl with the fake smile.
Now she’s real. She’s here.
She’s not hiding anything behind a smile.
“I don’t even know where to begin.” She trails off as she picks at the hem of my shirt that falls short on her thighs and I have to peel my eyes away from temptation.
“Earlier… when I asked you if you were sure and you said yes. Where is that certainty?”
She shrugs, her vulnerability calling out to me. I want so desperately to take care of this woman. To finally give her that safety and security she’s been missing.
“Earlier, I wasn’t thinking as much as just feeling, you know? I’ve never felt this way either, Noah. I don’t want you to think it’s all you because it isn’t. It’s just––I don’t… I don’t know.”
I suppress the urge to take her in my arms.
I don’t know if she even knows she’s looking at me with so much hope, her eyes dancing all over me as my words wrap her in a hug she so desperately wants to ask me for.
“If I had to hazard a guess it’s because you’ve always operated alone. You’ve been burned in the past and it’s hard for you to trust that this is real and I won’t leave you?”
Shock registers in her face at how attuned I am to her thoughts.
She can only nod her head, her eyes bouncing between mine.
“I feel the same way Ria. I’ve had my whole life planned out and then suddenly I see you and I can’t stop thinking about you. Now that I know how easy we just fall together? Not just in the little things but in everything.”
“Everything?” Her voice comes out in a shaky whisper, like she’s both afraid and needing to hear me spell it out for her.
“Everything,” I assure her.
I scoop her onto my lap, tilting her face up so we’re inches apart.
“Even with the fear that my shitty life has instilled in me, there is no way I can just walk away.”
I see everything in those eyes. I see a future.
For the first time in my life, I feel hope and a certainty that almost steals my breath.
Like my soul recognizes its other half in hers.
“Ria. We may have only shared hours of conversation but in that short time, you bared your soul to me like I did with you. I told you things I’ve never shared with anyone else. You trusted me with your body which you admitted isn’t easy for you. Before you, there was only the weight of my baggage holding me down. Now I could float to the fucking moon with how light and good you make me feel, baby.”
I kiss her forehead and my nose trails a path to her hair to breathe her in.
I allow myself a few more seconds to get lost in her scent and feel before I set her back down on the floor and rise.
I grab the sweater I flung on the table when I hurried to catch her earlier and pull it on.
There’s not a lot more I can say to convince her without pressuring her.
As much as I care about her and as much as I wish I could make her say yes, this is her decision to make. It’s not mine to force.
“I’m scared for all the reasons you are, but I know if I don’t at least let you know, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life. Ria, I’m not going to pressure you. I want you to make the decision that’s best for you. Just know that you have me if you’ll have me. If you decide to take this chance with me, I’ll support you. In case you still couldn’t tell, I’m crazy about you.”
I grab my keys and phone from the couch where I left them and pocket them.
In the corner of my eyes, I see Ria stumble to her feet.
“Where are you going?”