Helene huffs, crossing her arms.
“A lot happened. I don’t even know where to begin.” I haven’t started to process everything that happened tonight. How can I lead my friends through it?
Helene takes a step toward me. “Start with how you let Galen play you like a goddamn fiddle,” she says disparagingly.
“Have some respect.” Zara snaps at her, and murder flashes in Helene’s eyes.
“Quick to jump to her defense now that she’s queen, you little ass-kisser. You wanted to fuck her husband yesterday. So quick to change your tune,” Helene snarls.
“Galen knew which insecurities to play on. Every single touch was a carefully planned ruse with a memory. What I saw as Galen and me were really memories that belonged to Essos and me. Seems a real hole in the rules that he was able to do that.” In desperate need of some quiet, I walk away from the party. I kick off my shoes as I go, those heels digging into the sand only slowing me down.I don’t bother to see if the others follow.
“You’re right, it was. Why do you think I showed up once I found out he was here? But you wouldn’t talk to me—you didn’t tell me he was interfering. Finn was the only one who wised up, so he made the complaint that got the Calling Ball pushed up. He hoped it would be enough to get you away from Galen. I’m sure Posey was telling Galen how to circumvent the rules. She’s always had it out for you after your wedding got all that press and her wedding was overshadowed by a bump watch for you.”
“I don’t remember everything yet. I have bits and pieces, and most of that is what Galen tainted.” I keep my thoughts to myself about Finn making the complaint. I can’t keep lashing out at my allies. I need to have them on my side, and that means keeping my temper in check.
Once I’m far enough away from the party, I sit in the sand and put my head in my hands. “I royally fucked this one up,” I say, trying to tamp down a fresh wave of grief. I cannot let it wash over me, because I need to stay sharp. I need to hone my anger instead.
“Oh, stop.” Helene plops down on the sand beside me. “You can’t let my shithead brother win. I know Essos won’t rest until this is fixed. That means that you can’t, either. Galen can’t win.”
“I hate to say it, but it’s looking pretty bleak,” Cat says, joining us on the sand.
“Can I be the first to apologize for making out with your husband? Is he even still your husband?” Zara says, interrupting the moment.
I can only chuckle at her boldness. “Of course, he is. Something as trivial as death isn’t going to keep us apart. I don’t care if we’re still considered married or not. Heismy husband, and I’ll keep saying it louder for the people in the back.” I raise my voice at no one in particular. “You are forgiven. Just don’t let it happen again. Besides, Essos knew who I was and was kissing you back,” I say.
I can see now that every move that Essos made was strategic, but I can still be mad that he was swapping spit with Zara. Before Galen arrived, he tried to keep Zara at arm’s length. He was affectionate, but it was the night of the ball after the sea monster attack that I saw Essos with his hands all over Zara. Was that a clever ruse meant to distract Galen from me? To make Galen think that Essos was more interested in Zara?
“Do you look the same?” Cat asks biting on her thumb. There are tearstains on her cheeks, and I want to smooth them away.
“Yes, actually. I’m not sure how that was managed, but I’m also guessing it wasn’t just my looks that clued everyone in to who I was?” I look at Helene for confirmation.
“No, the imprint of your soul is the same. It’s like looking at a photo that features the backs of people’s heads. We all knew you well enough to know. That’s why this whole charade was tedious. Essos had to go through the motions during his other Callings and pretend he might pick someone else. I think Posey was hoping that hewouldfind someone else, or decide to—” Helene coughs “—decide to marry someone else so she could wrap you up in a bow for Galen. It’s why Essos let people like Cat and your friend Tiffany stay—it at least looked like he was taking it seriously, and it’s why I dismissed everyone else.”
“How did he do it?” Zara prods.
“Galen?” This I actually do know. “As the God of War, he manipulates memories. He can peer in your head, pick out a memory, and make it something so much bigger than it was. He’s banned from doing it to any of the Council, which I was a member of once upon a time, but I guess because I didn’t have my full powers and memories, that didn’t apply to me. Then again, Posey seems to be running roughshod over everyone. I can’t believe I fell for his shit.” I mutter that last part half to myself as I start to muse over these new power structures. Essos and I were always the first to push back against Posey regarding Council affairs, to her eternal frustration. The kingdoms were divided fairly with power, but Posey always insisted that as Queen and King of the Gods, she and Xavier should have more. Maybe that changed with my death—maybe she finally got her way.
“Galen knows how to manipulate people. He’s a master at it—you can’t blame yourself. He’s the God of War—he has centuries of experience picking at the exact right thread that causes the entire tapestry to unravel,” Helene admits begrudgingly.
“Who should I blame?” I challenge Helene. She’s picking up the dry sand and letting it slide through her fingers back onto the beach.
“Let’s start with Galen. He timed this perfectly. Your soul was trapped in a gem on the dagger. As part of the agreement for Galen to have a chance to win your heart, the Council had to release your soul from it. No one was told it was released, though I’m sure Essos felt it.” Helene’s information still has holes in it, but at this point, it wouldn’t surprise me to find out that the only person who really knows what happened is Galen.
I think about the moment I felt sick during the flag football game, how I felt like I was being stabbed. Galen must have been in the Underworld then. Essos had to have been shielding my presence in the Underworld somehow—that's why he was able to get away with hiding me as long as he did.
“Can I ask what might be an obvious question?” Zara asks. I lean forward to look at her, raising an eyebrow, waiting for her to continue. “If you were a goddess, and gods can’t be killed, how did you die?”
Helene clears her throat. “The weapon used has gone missing. No one knows how or why it exists. No one knows where it is.”
The world drops out from under me. I’m sure Galen knows exactly where it is. It wouldn’t surprise me to learn that he’s had it for ages, waiting for the right moment. As God of War, he maintains our armory.
I want to let my internal strife show. I want to pull my hair and scream and cry, but the women sitting beside me are relying on me. I can’t fall apart, not in front of them.
“I bet the sea monster that tried to drown you was orchestrated by Galen to earn your trust,” Cat points out, bringing us back to Galen and away from the unknown.
I clench my hands around fistfuls of sand, then release them, diamonds sliding between my fingers. “I can’t trust anyone,” I say, staring at the horizon.
Zara picks up one of the diamonds and shows it to Cat. I can feel her shock and awe as she picks up a handful of them, glancing at my hands and then the diamonds.