“You have a brown thumb…everything used to die when you tended it,” I remember, fighting to not get lost in the surge of memories.
“Yes, and by the time we were wed, you wouldn’t let me near your babies. Regardless of our marital status, you are the rightful Queen of the Underworld. You may have gotten only a kernel of the power through our marriage, but it lives in you. It’s why Xavier and Posey never mixed their blood during their wedding—she wanted to keep her powers to herself.”
“You are my husband. You are my heart. I willnotgo with Galen—I won’t marry him. What abouthiswife?”
Essos’s gaze looks toward the door then back to me. “Callie is still gone. I don’t want to talk about my brother. I have my wife back for the first time in centuries.” He kisses me again, pulling me against him. This kiss is different; it’s hungry and all-consuming.
I reach up and run my hands through his hair, remembering how that drives him wild. One of his hands slides down my waist and the other cups the back of my head as he walks me back into a wall. I stretch up on my toes, trying to close the gap between us as much as I can.
My heart aches with how much I missed my husband. He lifts me up, and I wrap my legs around his hips, thankful that the high slit in my dress allows me the maneuverability. He holds me against the wall as I fumble with his pants, undoing his belt and buttons and sliding my hand inside. He groans as my hand finds his hardness. He starts to place kisses down my neck, working toward my breasts. This is not the time nor the place, but it has beencenturiessince we were together, since I’ve been able to feel the love that we share. We should have spent the night entwined like this, but we can’t—because of me.
There is no foreplay, only urgent need. I run my hand over the length of him, relearning the feel of him. It’s muscle memory, knowing what to do to make him hunger for me. Bracing my back against the wall, he uses one hand to slide between my legs and push aside my underwear. He groans again as he finds me wet and ready, and I bite my lip as he slides his fingers over the exact right cluster of nerves. My body aches for the feel of him inside me. I tilt my head and nip his ear, causing him to pause.
“Play nice, kitten,” he says. “Or I will have to punish you.”
“Punish me another time. The clock is ticking before we’re found.”
He kisses me hard on the mouth, his tongue darting against mine. He lets me down for a moment so I can take off my underwear. He watches me, unable to tear his blue eyes away from me. I don’t want to take my eyes off him either; I’m afraid to blink and lose this moment like I lost all my memories.
Once we’re ready, he lifts me again, not wasting a moment. I rest my head against the wall and don’t break eye contact as he enters me.
I bite down hard on my lip to keep from crying out as he thrusts himself deep inside me. A small whimper escapes my throat, as he pulls back and thrusts again, to the hilt this time. I hold on to him, my fingers digging into his tuxedo. I don’t want to let him go. I’m so happy to have found him again, even if I’m going to lose him once more. We hold tight to one another, our hips moving together, desperately seeking release. I don’t want this to end, but I can feel the rising tide in me. I press my mouth to his, trying to muffle my moans as both of us find that moment of bliss that we have needed.
Afterwards, I can’t look at him, knowing that I’ve thrown us away. I keep my back to him as I look around for my underwear, confused as to how they got so far away. Finally, I give up. Essos fixes his pants, watching me from the corner of his eye. I feel his hand on my shoulder, and I turn to look at him, and he sees the tears sliding down my face.
“I know I’m out of practice, love, but I didn’t think I was that bad.” He brushes at a tear.
“Nonsense. I’ve ruined everything,” I say, looking up at him.
He shakes his head. “No, you didn’t. I’ll fix this. I promise I will. He won’t get away with it, but I have to go. I swear to you, nothing in this world can keep me from you,” he says softly. My husband has always been so generous and kind; I cannot imagine how this is eating at him. Under his calm demeanor, he must be furious. Furious at Galen for intervening, furious for having his hands tied, furious as me for not trusting him as he asked.
“But what am I supposed to do? I love you. I’m your wife. I can’t stay with him; that’s out of the question. He murdered me. I can’t stayhere.” I feel the rage rising in me, the lights flickering in response. Essos looks around the room as he rubs my arms gently to soothe me.
Maybe I can go into hiding while my memories return. Maybe we can run away to the mortal realm and spend our days eating pasta in Positano while Galen tries to take power and hopefully forgets about us.
"You have to stay here, at least for now. He won’t harm you again now that he thinks he won."
A fresh wave of tears streams down my face, and I sniff, holding back a wave of sadness.“Even though he tricked me and lied to me outright?" Essos cups my face, brushing a tear with his thumb. "That hardly seems fair."
He gives me a grim smile. "Especially because he tricked you. This is a game of gods, my love. There is nothing fair about it. Just keep your head down. I’ll figure something out as your memories return."
I know my time with him is growing short and, rather than waste any more of it, I lurch forward and press my lips to his, hungry for more of him. His answering kiss is just as eager before he breaks away from me.
"I have waited a thousand years for you. I will wait a thousand more if I have to." He presses a final kiss to my brow, and I savor the feel of his lips on my skin before a noise interrupts my reverie.
We both snap our heads towards it, fearing the worst. As badly as I know Essos needs to leave, I squeeze his hand tighter, not wanting to let it go. He returns it with another comforting squeeze before pulling me into a tight embrace. His hands thread through my hair, and I can hear the wild beating of his heart. He is real.Weare real.
"I love you. Never doubt that." Essos ducks his head so he tells me this eye to eye.
I press my forehead to his, fighting the furious tears building in my eyes. “Forever. I love you forever, and I always will. Don’t doubt me, either.”
There is a knock at the door, and I turn to look at it. Quickly, Essos’s lips crush to my forehead before he dematerializes, leaving me cold and alone all over again.
CHAPTER34
Istraighten my hair and dress before opening the door.
Finn is standing on the other side of it, and I exhale. He checks behind him before pushing his way into the room and closing the door behind him.