I am petrified about what he will do. I’ve been keeping my distance from him as much as possible for the last several months. Every time I saw him, he was more and more deranged, more vehement that I don’t belong with Galen, that I belong to him.
Once I get through my bedroom door, I try to close it, but the attempt is futile. He’s a god; he has the ability to move things with his mind. Essos pushes the door back and, by extension, me. The weightlessness I feel before I slam into one of the bedposts doesn’t fit what is happening. It cracks and breaks, sending me crashing to the ground. Essos steps into the room, picking at invisible lint. He can do this all day; as one of the kings, the well he has to pull from is bottomless. The power Galen has to pull from is bottomless too, but he’s not here to defend me. I am on my own.
I remind myself that I am a goddess in my own right. I have my own abilities to use against him, and I have to. Now is not the time to be conservative with my powers. I dive deep into that fear and anger, causing more roots to climb through my house to hold him.I scramble off the floor as he is encased in vines again. I add another layer for protection.
Essos laughs from inside the case I’m building around him, and the sound chills my blood. He laughs as he burns away the cage with half a thought. My powers are no match for a king.
I see it then, the glint of steel in his hand.
“Youwillbe mine,” he says with finality, grabbing my wrist. I try to yank it away from him. I will throw myself from the window before I let him take me. Knowing that I might have lost does not pull the fight from me, and I still struggle against him. I make thorns grow from my wrist, and he just laughs as they pierce his skin. “Even if it takes centuries for it to happen. She promised me.”
Essos pulls my body against his, and I spit in his face, out of options. He raises his arm, needing a high angle because of how close I am to him.
Then Essos plunges the knife into my chest.
The air whooshes out of my lungs as he drives it in deep, twisting it for effect. My battle changes from the fight against Essos to the fight to stay alive. My only hope is Galen. That he comes home and can save me.
“Shh, my love,” Essos says as he lays me back on the bed. “If you struggle, you will only bleed out faster.” Once I’m on my back, he kneels over me, his face red and dripping with sweat as he pulls the knife out and slides it into my chest, lower this time. With each stab, he says my name, my sheets chaffing under my back. His movement over me is almost intimate with each forceful drive of the knife into my skin, six times in total.
He is careful, posing me on the bed, smoothing my hair, leaving streaks of my own blood on my face. I cough, blood droplets landing on my chin and his face. Essos leans his face close to mine before he licks my cheek, capturing my blood and tears on his tongue. I can imagine how the blood is spreading on my dress. I don’t have the energy to fight him anymore. My well is dry; there are no more powers that I can call on. Essos stands on the bed over my body, triumphant while we both wait to see how my husband will respond to my prone form. The dagger is still protruding from my chest, the crystal at the top of the hilt swirling with smoke and silver. The weaker I feel, the brighter the silver grows.
The memory ends there.
I reach my hand to my chest, touching the spot where the dagger entered my skin. I don’t know what I expect to find, but I don’t find it. I come out of the memory crying, first slowly, from shock more than anything, before it gives away to total devastation. I was wrong—that was more traumatic than I was prepared for. I thought it would be like watching a movie, but it was so,somuch worse. I cannot stop crying long enough to form words. Instead, I cling to Galen, my safe harbor in the storm. He holds me close as I battle through this wave of emotions, moving to the chair in the corner and pulling me onto his lap.
“That’s where it ends?” I manage to ask between sobs.
“Yes,” he says, his own voice choked with emotion.
“Why couldn’t I fight him off?” I ask, pulling back from him. I get up and start pacing, needing to move, but my legs are shaking so much more than I expected. I plop onto the bench at the foot of the bed. Galen doesn’t seem to sense that I need my space, because he gets up and follows me, sitting beside me, too close.
“He’s the King of the Underworld. He’s in a power class I can’t match. Xavier maybe, but I’m not as strong as him. I can’t hold my own against him.” Galen sounds like he regrets that he’s not strong enough to fight Essos. I imagine finding your brother standing over your wife’s body would have that effect.
I put my head in my hands.One thought breaks through the haze of my anguish.
“Every other memory you’ve helped me see, you were in. How could you show me this if you weren’t there?”
Galen shuffles his feet. “I’m able to pull up long-forgotten memories. Everyone assumes that I use the power for ill, but I used to use it when you would forget where you left something.” He reaches forward to tuck my hair behind my ear, much the way Essos has done so many times, and Iflinch.I’m not sure where the reaction comes from. I feel like I should be leaning into his touch, not flinching away. An ugly twist flickers over Galen’s mouth, and the brief expression almost feels like scorn, but it clears just as quickly. I draw back, acting like it was all part of me drawing my feet under me. There is no reason for that reaction from a man who loves me, who just helped me watch my own murder. I feel compelled to apologize, explain my reaction away, but he should be understanding. I just relived my own murder.
“And you’re sure I have to go through with tonight?” I look at him, eyes wide with pleading. I reach forward to try to soothe that anger I think I saw, but I’m careful to touch his shoulder and not his hand or arm. I don’t want any more memories right now.
Galen nods. “We need to show him that you’re not a prize to be won and that you know the game he’s been playing.”
“How did he keep me from you for all this time? I didn’t realize that gods could be killed.” My voice trembles.
“Anything can be killed if you try hard enough. The dagger was unusual—it trapped your soul inside it. He kept it until he thought he could release you without me noticing and win you over. But please, wait for tonight. Tonight is when we will have our revenge. I am so sorry—I never wanted you to have to see that or relive it.”
“It’s important that I did.” I stand up shakily. “You should go before anyone starts looking for one of us. I need to pull myself together before tonight.” I usher him to the door without giving him a chance to respond and shove him out. Once he’s on the other side, I lean against it and slide to the ground.
I put my head between my knees, trying to take deep breaths. I was able to get myself under control in front of Galen, briefly, but the brave front isn’t enough anymore. A fresh wave of tears rises, and I stagger to my feet.
Zara and Cat emerge from the closet with trepidation. I push past them into the bathroom, where I throw up bile. There’s nothing in my system to purge, but my body is rejecting everything that just happened. I start crying again, collapsing on the floor next to the toilet.
They approach slowly, unsure of what I learned. Cat sits next to me and hands me a glass of water while Zara perches on the tub, her fingers grazing my shoulder to let me know that she is there as support, too.
I explain to them through my tears what happened in the memory, but I start to hyperventilate and hiccup through the story. I can barely manage more than two consecutive words. How it felt being pursued by Essos. The fear and the terror of my life flashing before my eyes.I don’t know how much of the story they actually get.
They let me cry it out for what feels like hours. At some point, Cat places a hot cup of tea in my hands. After taking a few sips, I begin to calm down.