“Funny you should say that—that happens to be one of my favorite dishes!” I lean toward him with a smile.
“I thought that was mac and cheese and chicken nuggets.”
“I love those too, obviously, but carbonara is probably my favorite grown-up meal. There was this Italian place near campus that used to make it with tortellini and pancetta and peas and onions. I gained like, the freshman forty-five eating their food all the time because they would deliver until two in the morning. It was too easy to call them when I got back to my dorm, trashed.” I lean back on my pillows and pat my stomach with fond memories
“We will have to test if mine holds up to this place.”
“Doubtful. What’s your favorite food?” I want to know more about him. I feel guilty, wondering if my involvement with Essos would be considered cheating on Galen, or maybe it would be the other way around, since I’m unexclusively dating Essos? If I was married to Galen, am I still considered married to Galen? Questions circle my mind. I’m a completely new person with different experiences; I grew up with no magic or abilities, no memories of this past life I had. The whole thing blows my mind and confuses me to no end, because there’s no clear definition when it comes to emotional cheating. Whatever it is, I feel like I’m toeing the line.
“I love a good seafood risotto. I go to Italy just for that.”
I laugh. He’s unbelievable. “You go to Italy just for risotto? That's absurd. Wait—can you go to the mortal realm whenever you want?” I realize I still know so little about how this world works.
“I’m a god,” he points out simply. “I’m free to cross between realms with ease, because so much of what I do is grounded in the mortal realm.”
The idea gives me butterflies. Going to Italy and seeing the world with Essos sounds like a dream, and for a moment, I imagine it: sitting on the coast of Positano, enjoying seafood risotto before popping over to Germany for some pretzels and beer. Then, in my mind, I see Galen dressed in lederhosen in the background, waving his hands as if to say,What about me?!
“That would be amazing,” I say, subdued.
Essos seems to sense a change in my mood. With a wave of his hand, the dirty dishes are gone.
“It’s after midnight.” He stands and rebuttons his suit. “I’ll leave you to rest. Until tomorrow…” He walks over to me like he wants to kiss me, but instead he tucks a stray lock of hair behind my ear. My head lowers in a movement that probably looks coy but is meant to hide my disappointment.
“Essos?” I call before he leaves.
He’s at my side in one stride. “Change your mind about the healing?”
“No, I…I pulled this from your garden, and I want you to have it.” I press my magic rose into his hand. When he lifts it to his nose, it brushes against his lips first before he breathes in the scent.
“Thank you,” he whispers, holding it carefully. “Rest now,” he orders before he leaves me wanting more.
* * *
“So, how was the queen bee?” Cat asks, thumbing throughBetween Two Lovers,the book that followsThe Princess and Her Guard.It would seem that the prince Lorelei was married to was not as opposed to her guard as they thought he would be.
“Brutal.”
I’m sitting at my vanity, wondering if I truly need to comb my hair. My shower yesterday was easy, it’s that second-day soreness that makes it impossible to move. I skipped breakfast because I just couldn’t find the strength to physically get out of bed.
It certainly didn’t help that I was in the fugue of a genuine sex dream. The memory dreams I’ve been having feel different. They grab me and won’t let me go until they’ve shown me what they want me to see.
My dream last night was unadulterated lust. It didn’t have any of the hallmark strangeness of my prior dreams that were memories. It picked up right where Essos had left me. In my dream, he turned around and gave in to the temptation between us, pressing his lips against mine, until the memory of pain from working out was gone. Our coupling was everything I imagined it would be, since it was my fantasy, after all. His lips were soft and full as he worked from my mouth to between my legs before I felt the generous length of him slide into me.
It was fantasy fodder for the shower that had me almost falling to my knees with release.
“She seems like a good sister, and like she would be a good sister-in-law.”
I make a noncommittal noise and focus on my breathing to lift my hands so I can comb my hair.
“I think she’s fiercely protective of those she loves, and that anyone who can count themselves among those numbers is lucky.”
Cat bites her lip. “She doesn’t seem very partial to Galen.”
“From what Essos told me, he’s their baby brother, and it sounds like he has golden child syndrome.”
“And you would really be okay with that?”
Her question is poking at a bruise I’ve been ignoring. Everyone just wants me to get to the Calling Ball, and I want to. I need to know what secrets my memories hold. Yet, the last memory imparted to me from Galen’s touch left me feeling itchy all over. It felt all wrong, like my skin was too tight, and I was grateful that Helene’s arrival served as a distraction.