“We get to see what that’s like tomorrow, right?”I’m eager to move the subject away from my nosebleeds and near-death brushes. He’s so close to me, the scent of him nearly overpowering now that my brain is able to focus on something other than maybe dying.
“You run hot and cold all the time, don’t you?” He laughs. “Yes, that’s the idea. For the most part, what I do runs itself with very little interference, but sometimes there are special cases that require my attention. Tomorrow, I happen to have two of those cases. It can be…disheartening at times. I’m looking forward to a time when I can share the burden again.”
“Again? Sybil doesn’t help?” I ask.
“Of course, they’re immensely helpful, but there are certain things I can’t share with them. They can help with the day-to-day, but there are elements of my work that having a partner with whom to share the emotional burden would make a huge difference.”
I feel as though I’m finally getting somewhere with him. “Did you have a partner before? Your consort?”
His face shutters. “It’s complicated.Consortis a clever word. I heard Sybil let it slip, and it got your very important lesson about the Afterlife cut short.” He uses a seashell to dig a hole in the sand. Just like that, I get sent to jail, do not pass Go, do not collect two hundred dollars. I’m back to square one and have very little to show for it. I stand up.
“It’s always complicated, Essos. I don’t get you. Galen has been an open book to me, at least as far as your stupid rules allow, but you’re always sealed tight like an oyster. You want me to trust you, but you’re making it so difficult to give that trust.”
Essos pauses, clearly choosing his words carefully. “Galen is held to a different standard than I am. As a result, he is able to be more free with his words and actions. As the main participant of the Calling, Icannottell you more. I know you’ve been asking questions of Finn, and I haven’t interfered because I didn’t think I had to. Stop poking at it, Daphne. Stop trying to rip open the scab to see if it still bleeds. Therewillbe answers when the time comes.” Essos grinds his teeth, locking eyes with me. “Is Galen interfering in some way I should be aware of?”
I think of the memories that Galen has given me so far. If I want to learn more about myself, I need to keep him in the house. If Essos knew Galen was doing that, what would stop him from sending Galen away, or worse, canceling this Calling because I’ve been influenced? I try to think of some kernel of knowledge that I can use against Essos in this moment that won’t stop things dead in their tracks.
“No, he’s just been more free with information about you as a person and your history as the King of the Underworld. What is he the god of, anyway?”
I can see by his expression that Essos doesn’t believe me. I see in his eyes that he knows his brother is up to something. Does he need proof to do something about it?
“He is the God of War and Suffering,” he says, sounding disappointed, like he already knew the answer to the question he was asking but wanted me to confirm it. “We were close once but had a falling out quite some time ago. He’s never recovered from the slight, and things only deteriorated from there. He’s the reason I was called away abruptly. He started a skirmish that could have turned into a war, and since it resulted in mortal deaths, I had to step in. The King of the Gods was otherwise occupied. Galen acts out like that frequently.”
“You make him sound like a petulant child.”
“That’s because he is one. He doesn’t like being the baby of the family and will use any excuse to act out. It’s no wonder that people treat him like that.” Essos scoops up a handful of sand and lets the grains slide through his fingers, not looking at me. “I know it makes me sound like a bitter child, but after thousands of years being faced with his behavior, I’m…what do you mortals say now? Over it. Just...trust his actions over his words. Galen is always better at showing people who he really is underneath it all.”
I hold his gaze. I can picture Essos as a small child, pouting over the attention given his baby brother, and I feel uncertain again of who to trust.
“If you want me along for the ride, I need to know what I’m doing.”
He squints against the sun. If I suggested it, I wonder if Essos would just sit and play in the sand with me, casting aside his kingly demeanor. But I’ve already pushed him too far in the other direction.
“Fine.” He shakes his head and stands up, then dusts off his hands on his pants and offers me one.
I think about the past few days, and I reach out and take it.
The world spins around me for what feels like an eternity. I wonder if maybe I have permanent brain damage, or if I got up too fast. When Essos drops my hand, I open my eyes. It takes a second for them to adjust. Gone is the sunbathed beach with its cool ocean breeze. Instead, we’re standing in a dark cavern with moist, stale air. I see nothing identifiable, just a long hallway extending before us.
“Where are we?” I ask, knowing that the answer is obvious. Essos is busy grooming himself—dusting the sand off his suit, running a hand through his hair to slick it back. He refastens the top button of his shirt and closes his jacket. He misses a few stray hairs, and I instinctively reach out to brush them into place. He stills as I do it, and I imagine him grabbing my hand and kissing the inside of my wrist, as if this is a dance we’ve done before. I want him to do it, want to feel the press of his mouth against my skin, even if it’s not my lips.
“We’re in my realm. The Underworld. This is where the queen will spend her time by my side. No better place than among the worms. Ashes to ashes and all that.” His tone is different as he says it, flat. This is another face of his, trying to fill the role everyone expects of him. It almost sounds like the opposite of a sales pitch, like he’s trying to talk me out of proceeding, which only makes him more perplexing.
He starts walking, his back ramrod straight as he ventures forward. The side chamber he leads me into looks like the DMV—long, slow lines and unhappy people. There is no end in sight for the line in either direction.
“Consider this your sneak peek of tomorrow, except, because I don’t want to send you all away screaming, I keep the demonstration tomorrow more civilized and in another location, not underground,” he murmurs to me.
“Why show me then?” I ask.
He looks down at me, his ice-blue eyes softening for a second before he hardens himself. He needs to be a different version of himself to do this job. I wonder which is closer to the real Essos—this man without an ounce of pity in his voice, or the man who played with sand just minutes before.
“Because you’re relentless, and I know that you won’t be satisfied without the whole truth. Daphne, I can’t show you everything, but believe that I am pushing the limits of what I am absolutely allowed.”
I trail behind him as we walk past the endless lines of people, most of them looking bored, some crying. “But you’re not giving me the whole truth—just a convenient part of it.”
We stop in front of another door.
“That’s because I can’t tell you everything you want to know without ending the entire process, and then this will be all for nothing. Is that what you want? I can promise you that it’s not what I want. My hands are tied by other people. I’m not my brother—I cannot flaunt rules for my own gain.” He is frustrated with me; I can feel it. But if he thinks I’m just going to be some pretty accessory that won’t ask questions, he’s barking up the wrong tree. “Do you have any other questions before this gets started?”