I’ve wondered what these dreams could mean. It feels like it’s me in them, like it’s my skin lighting up with every touch, but how is that possible?
I assume that no one else is having similar dreams, because Cat confirmed that she’s not. I’m not close enough to anyone else to ask if they’re having sex dreams about Essos, but I suspect if others were, they’d be talking about it. At the very least, Zara would make it well known that she’s had dreams about knowing Essos carnally.
Just the thought makes me dig my nails into my palms.
I grimace. Calling them sex dreams is a disservice to the emotion in them—they’re about so much more than sex and touching; they’re showing the partnership between Essos and this woman. Who in my dreams is me.
* * *
At some point during the first two weeks, Dave started sleeping outside my door. Eventually, I started waiting for him before going to bed, at which point he began climbing onto the bed while I finished my nighttime routine. Now, once I settle in, he cuddles with me like the big baby he is.
Essos questions us about it one morning.
“Has Dave been staying with any of you?” he asks, flipping a page in front of him, then glancing at us. I’m seated next to him today and catch sight of the top of the page, which saysEmerald Production.
“He’s been sleeping in my bed,” I admit, and take a sip of coffee.
Essos looks pleased and nods. “That’s because he knows he’s not allowed to sleep in mine,” he says with a chuckle. He reaches out and gently touches the back of my hand. “If it bothers you then I won’t allow it.”It’s not a question or a command, but an offer.
“If it bothered me, I would have said something,” I point out.
Essos buries his grin, accepting this before slipping some bacon to the dogs.
Once all 15 of us are in the room, he stands. “Ladies, today we will have a group date.”
There is some interest at this announcement, and some groans. Over the past two weeks, Essos has gone on a handful of solo dates, but this is the first time there’ll be a group of us. Partnership was apparently something that Essos could not see with Penny, the sophomore with red hair, who was his latest dismissal. Essos never reveals why someone is leaving, though if she wants to fill in the blanks, she can. Even Essos was tight-lipped about her dismissal, though they both agreed it was for the best.
“Ordinarily, it would be a small number of you, but in the interest of being more equitable with my time, today we will all be together. I fear I’ve been neglecting you.” His eyes do a sweep of the room. “This isn’t on your schedules. I’ve cleared my calendar to accommodate our time together, so please put on some comfortable athletic wear and meet me outside on the beach in two hours.” Essos sketches a bow. “I will see you ladies then.”
He steps out of the room, bribing the dogs with bacon to follow him, and we erupt in excited chatter. Zara was delighted when she received the first solo date with him a few days after the gallery tour, so she feels confident about this group date. After our altercation on the deck, we’ve been steering clear of one another as best we can. She seemed elated after finding out that I was one of the few who did not have a one-on-one date with him. It feels like at every opportunity she’s loudly gossiping about her time with Essos with a smug glance in my direction.
It takes a lot to remind myself that tripping her would be unqueenly, but fuck, it would make me feel better.
We all do as we’re told, and I am the first to meet Essos on the beach. I’m surprised when I see yoga mats for each of us lined up and Essos chatting with a woman I haven’t met before. She’s short with dark hair and skin and full lips, and she’s wearing a crop top that saysNamaste in bedand high-waisted shorts. Essos is dressed the most casually I’ve ever seen him, and more shocking is that he’s not in head-to-toe black. He’s dressed in a dark blue tight-fitting T-shirt that shows every muscle I imagined was there and sweatpants that hang dangerously low on his hips. I am thrilled to get to admire this all on my own.
The woman spots me first, and Essos turns. “Daphne!” he says with surprise, walking toward me. I love the sound of my name when he says it.
“Yoga?” I ask, gesturing at the mats. I’m rewarded with a smile for my observation.
“A bit unconventional, but I’ve noticed things are tense. I want to give you all a chance to unwind. But yoga comes later. Are you adjusting well?” he asks, studying my face closely. His hands are clasped behind his back like he’s trying not to reach out and touch me, but I wish he would. Rather than leaving it up to him, I reach forward and pluck some imaginary lint off the collar of his shirt, letting my fingers brush his skin. He tenses and wets his lips as he watches me. It’s like Victorian times, where just the brush of a hand could soak panties.
“As well as can be expected. Sybil is jamming more information into the two hours they have us each day than I learned in my three and a half years of college. Who is this?” I ask, gesturing to the woman.
She steps back and away from us, finding something about the mats to fuss with.
“Luminara—she is—”
“Unimportant. Carry on with your conversation. Ignore me!” She gives me a secretive smile before striding away from us.
Essos blushes and shakes his head with a laugh, and I want to lean into the sound. We may not have had any intentional one-on-one time like he’s had with some of the others, but each night, he finds me across the room, each night, his fingers are light on my skin, and each night, I relax into dancing, letting him lead. Sometimes he remembers himself and excuses himself to dance with another, but I’ve noticed, more often than not, we have to be interrupted by someone else seeking his time.
“It is a lot, I know, but some of the gods are rather particular about their roles and their histories. I imagine it’s similar to the quarterback in high school, forever regretting that he peaked early, forever chasing that high.”
I smile ruefully. “I know the type. I even dated one or two.” I shake my head, and I notice Essos go perfectly still, watching me.
“I don’t think I ever considered…” He trails off and clears his throat. “I mean, you didn’t mention a boyfriend at the memorial dinner. I didn’t think…” Now he’s visibly unnerved. I wonder if he’s uneasy about dating women with boyfriends, but I consider Tiffany and Madison, who both had boyfriends and are both still here. I reach out to touch his arm, unsure if it’s okay but doing it anyway. This touch is meant to convey so much more than an “accidental” brush of fingers earlier.
“I mean, I dated a guy named Chad in my meteorology class, but never seriously. I always felt a little too lost in my own life to find someone really worth my time.” It’s not a lie. I would get as far as a handful of dates before realizing the person wasn’t right. I wasn’t expecting the Mia Thermopolis “foot pop” or anything, but I was hoping for a spark that was never there.