CHAPTER9
Is it Essos? Or am I just inserting him into my mystery man's place because he's all I can think of?
We’re on a beach, the wind whipping my hair across my face. I stand, alone at first, looking over the water with a shawl pulled tight around my shoulders, cold, trying to find warmth where I can. Hands wrap around me, pulling me against a firm chest.
“You are always so cold, my love,” he says, ducking his head next to mine. He nuzzles my ear and places a gentle kiss below my lobe.
“Only when you’re not here to warm me.” I turn in his arms so that I’m facing him. The sun is shining in my eyes, so I can’t look directly at him. Instead, I rise on my toes to kiss him, only able to reach the spot on his neck just below his ear where he kissed me.
“I want to build our home here. I want to have the beach at my fingertips.”
“What else, can I give you, my love?”
“I want a library, and gardens, and stables. I want a vineyard, because I want to make wine that even Dion will covet. Of course, we will entertain. We need a lot of space, so a lot of bedrooms.”
“We’ll need to fill those bedrooms,” he says, mischief tinging his voice. “I’ll give you everything you asked for. But I can’t give away my heart.”
“No?”
“You’ve already got it.”
He dips his head and kisses me full on the mouth. We stay there for what feels like hours, watching the sun set over the water, kissing occasionally, but mostly just taking in the sky.
Instead of waking in strong arms, I open my eyes to find I am alone in my bed, the sun only just rising.It’s almost painful to get up as the weight of lost hopes and dreams layers over me. My first dream, I could have chalked up to being a fantasy—a weird, period-drama fantasy. After all theDownton Abbey-esque moments, that wouldn’t be surprising, but this feels like more. I’m crushed by the sensation that I’ve lost something
My head is still in a fog as I go down to breakfast in my pajamas, which is appropriate attire, per Sybil’s schedule. I appreciate the detailed schedule, which includes specifics down to the types of shoes one should and shouldn’t wear. Zara and Cat have their heads bent together, whispering about something. I’m surprised that I’m not the first one up and am glad not to be the last.
I take my seat beside Cat, curious to know what they’re talking about. I don’t have to wait long to find out, because Zara gladly tells me all about it.
“Essos and I kissed last night,” she says excitedly, and it’s like my stomach drops out of my body at the reminder. Somehow, in the haze of the booze and my dream, I had managed to forget this.
My brain starts concocting lies to make myself feel better, my favorite being that she’s just trying to intimidate others. From the looks on some of the faces, it’s working. I force myself to listen to her.
“And then we spent the remainder of the evening on the beach, waiting for the sun to rise. I just got changed now. Oh, Daphne, we talked all night, about everything from families to history to pop culture. He knows about books and movies and all the things in the mortal world.”Zara’s story explains why Sybil looks particularly weary this morning. Normally, they stand in the corner with their hands behind their back, alert and watchful, but today they are nursing a coffee.
My breakfast is placed before me, and I give my thanks to the server, but I can barely stomach eating now. If Finn and Essos want me to trust the process, then that is what I have to do, but the whole thing feels absurd, and I wonder if I should ask to move on to the Afterlife.
No. I will never leave Cat, not willingly anyway. If she wants to stick this out, then so will I.
“That soundssospecial,” I choke out, before shoving a forkful of food into my mouth. The eggs have no taste this morning.
The schedule today calls for no time with Essos until dinner. Instead, we’re going to learn more about the Calling and the traditions we’ll be expected to know for the Calling Ball.
Learning and college feel so long ago, I can’t imagine having to do something as mundane as going to class. Maybe, though, learning about Essos and the traditions of his people will give me something to do besides drown in jealousy.
Sybil slips out of the room once everyone is at breakfast. When Essos appears, he smiles and asks what we thought about the dancing and the ball. I keep silent, not wanting to think about Essos kissing Zara, or how dirty this level of jealousy feels.
“What about you, Daphne? You usually have an opinion,” Essos says.
“I think Finn was really nice, and I hope I didn’t do permanent damage to his feet.” I avoid his eyes and take another bite of my breakfast in hopes of avoiding talking further.
“You’re a terrific dancer, Essos,” Zara says, putting a hand on his arm. An ache in my jaw makes me realize I’ve been clenching my teeth.
He pats her hand and nods. “All of you were wonderful, and I hope it was a fine enough sendoff for your friends. Although they didn’t have their own escorts, I believe all of your escorts did their part to make sure no one felt left out.” Everyone murmurs their agreement, but we all fall silent when Sybil rushes in and bends to Essos’s ear. His mouth presses into a flat line, and he abruptly excuses himself.
Sybil takes over, ordering us all to get ready for the day to come.
When we come down to the ballroom, it has been reorganized into a classroom of sorts. There are notebooks scattered about on the couches, which are all facing a chalkboard. Sybil stands at the front, writing various dates and names on the board. I recognize a few of the names, such as Aristotle and Helen, and places, like Troy and Sparta. I don’t recognize the place at the top of the list—Solarem.